[CHARLEY]
They keep vitamins and aspirins in jars of Vaseline
A display of patent medicines like folks have never seen
Decks of cards and stacks of National Geographic magazine
They keep laxatives and sedatives and pension forms and all
Helping folks relax, although their backs are up against the wall
There's no reason you should kill yourself, it's easier to call

[MARY]
You're a dime away from loving consolation

[CHARLEY & MARY]
When the world affects its worst humilation

[ELIOT]
Take an aspirin with a little glass of wine
And I guarantee in minutes you'll be fine
Bring your troubles in, and I will make them mine