[ORIN]
When I was younger, just a bad little kid
My mama noticed funny things I did
Like shooting puppies with a B.B. gun
I'd poison guppies and when I was done
I'd find a pussycat and bash in its head
That's when my mama said

[CRYSTAL, RONETTE, CHIFFON, spoken]
What did she say?

[ORIN]
She said, "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay"[ORIN]
“You'll be a dentist
You have a talent for causing things pain
Son, be a dentist
People will pay you to be inhumane.”[GIRLS]
“You'll be a dentist
Pain
Son, be a dentist
Inhumane”[ORIN]
Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less

[ALL FOUR]
Son, be a dentist
You'll be a success
[RONETTE]
Here he is, folks the leader of the plaque!

[CHIFFON]
Watch him suck up that gas!
Oh, my god!

[CRYSTAL]
He's a dentist and he'll never ever be any good

[GIRLS]
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade?
Oh that hurts!
I'm not numb!

[ORIN]
Oh, shut up. Open wide. here I come![ORIN]
“I am your dentist
And I enjoy the career that I picked
I am your dentist
And I get off on the pain I inflict
When I start extracting those molars
You girls will be screaming like holy rollers”[GIRLS]
“Dentist, goodness gracious
Love it

Dentist, fitting braces
You really love it
Don't try it

Ooh-aah”[GIRLS]
Dentist!

[ORIN]
And though it may cause my patients distress
Somewhere in heaven above me, I know, I know that my mama's proud of me
'Cause I'm a dentist- and a success

(spoken)
Say ah

[GIRLS, spoken]
Ahh

[ORIN, spoken]
Say ah!

[GIRLS, spoken]
Ahh!

[Orin]
Now spit