[SQUIRE 4]
Your average knight in armor, he's utterly the pits

[SQUIRE 3]
His ego's so humungous, his helmet barely fits

[SQUIRE 4]
He wears two tons of padding and thinks he's quite the man

[SQUIRE 2]
He's nothing but a jackass in a fancy metal can

[SQUIRES]
A jackass in a can
There's nothing worser than
Some high and mighty jackass in a can

[SQUIRE 1, SPOKEN]
My master hasn't had a sip of his port without my spit in it in years. I got him cravin' it now. I gave him two months without it, he said it didn't taste right

[SQUIRE 2, SPOKEN]
So, what about your knight? Is he as bad as ours?

[GALAVANT, SPOKEN]
Uh, yeah, sure
[GALAVANT]
There's all that fame and glory

[SQUIRE 1]
The smell, though? Not so great

[GALAVANT]
And then those big, long lances

[SQUIRE 3]
Yeah, to overcompensate

[GALAVANT]
The glamor and swagger

[SQUIRE 1]
Yeah, I'm not really a fan

[GALAVANT]
He's quite —

[SQUIRES]
A major dillweed?

[GALAVANT]
In a fancy metal can
[GALAVANT and SQUIRES]
A dillweed in a can
There's nothing lamer than
A condescending dillweed in a can

[SQUIRE 1]
And who does all the planning

[SQUIRE 2]
Yeah, and who does all the work

[GALAVANT, SPOKEN]
True

[SQUIRE 4]
Who gets no vacation

[SQUIRE 3]
Not one pay raise, not one perk

[GALAVANT, SPOKEN]
Good point

[SQUIRE 2]
Whose third rate insurance comes without a dental plan?
[GALAVANT]
Your average, humble squire?

[GALAVANT and SQUIRES]
And not the meathead in the can
That jerkface in a can
There's nothing sadder than

[GALAVANT]
Some over muscled, chauvinistic
Self indulgent, egotistic
Stingy, prissy, narcississy

[GALAVANT and SQUIRES]
Jackass in a can!

[GALAVANT, SPOKEN]
Oh, my God. That's me