Ella: This is Russia's premier state funded hotel

We're very proud of our "eclectic" clientele

Excellence in service since 1932

Don't believe what you read

In the online reviews

It's the big house

The perfect getaway

Welcome into the big house

You'll never get away

It's no Hilton or no Hyatt

But you will have a riot

So please enjoy your stay

Here's the dining room
The menu is minimal

What the cook does to the food is criminal

Pull up a seat, Dragon

Grab yourself a stool

May I recommend

You try our famous gruel?

In the big house

You'll never be alone

Life ain't bad in the big house

No, buddy, no

Check out after ten

Or eleven years

Make yourself at home
?: In the big house, you will not survive

When you arrive in the big house, run for liiiiiiife!

Ella: It's the big house

The perfect getaway

Welcome into the big house

You'll never get away

For your security...

I'll keep the only key

Now please enjoy your staaaaay