[Verse 1]
There is a man up in Ulster, you all know him well
For Catholics and Republicans, he'd see us in hell
For his name's Ian Paisley and that is the man
That the Catholics and Republicans just couldn't give a damn!

[Chorus]
Toodle-oo! Toodle-ay!
You're the best friend we've had since the old IRA!

[Verse 2]
Well, now Ian went home, at his wife he did stare
For to see Austin Currie, and Gerry met there
Sure, Ian, the creeper, his head went astray
When his wife said, "I've had Curriе, I can't beef it all day."

[Chorus]
Toodle-oo! Toodle-ay!
You're thе best friend we've had since the old IRA!

[Verse 3]
Well, now Ian went home very late one night
And the sight he saw there, it give him a fright!
He looked under his wife's bedclothes, for he was so bold
And the knickers she wore, they were green, white, and gold!
[Chorus]
Toodle-oo! Toodle-ay!
You're the best friend we've had since the old IRA!

[Verse 4]
And now Ian, now Ian, now don't be alarmed
For it's only a tricolor, it'll do me no harm
If only he wanted a wee bit with you
Sure you wouldn't take them down if they were red, white, and blue

[Chorus]
Toodle-oo! Toodle-ay!
You're the best friend we've had since the old IRA!

[Verse 5]
Well, Ian, he died, and to heaven did go
"Ah, where have you come from?" St. Peter wanted to know
"Sure, I'm from loyal Ulster!" he said with a sneer
Said Peter, "I'm from the Bogside, you won't get in here!"

[Chorus]
Toodle-oo! Toodle-ay!
You're the best friend we've had since the old IRA!
Toodle-oo! Toodle-ay!
You're the best friend we've had since the old IRA!