Flight of the Conchords
Mutha’uckas - Hurt Feelings (Live in London)
[Hook 1: Bret & (Jemaine)]
Too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi'
There's too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi' ('uckin' with my shi')
Too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi'
How many mutha'uckas?
Too many to count, mutha'uckas

[Verse 1: Jemaine (Bret)]
I pay my mutha'uckin' rent fortnightly
Mutha'uckas at the bank trying to play me
An amount from my account goes out on A/P (on A/P!)
Yeah, you know me
Those utha'uckas charge a two buck transaction fee
Makes my payment short, my rent comes back to me
Minus a twenty-five dollar penalty
So you fee'd me cause of your mutha'uckin' fee?
Read the word on my ATM slip
Said, "We're all mutha'uckas
And we're 'uckin' with your shi'," so come on!

[Verse 2: Bret]
The mutha'ucka runs a racist 'uckin' grocery
The mutha'ucka won't sell an apple to a Kiwi
The shi' fight's gonna get vicious and malicious
Cut the cra' ...'muthu'...' I need my Red Delicious
Tells me as a 'uckin' Kiwi that my money isn't valid
Gonna dice the ... like a m... fruit salad
Gonna... j... MANGO
Ugh, hgh, gh, PAPAYA
Ugh, gonna, ... in a fruit... avocado
[scatting] Tomato
[more choppy scatting]
I'll pop an apple in his ass, yeah!
[Hook: (Bret) & Jemaine]
Too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi'
(He's gonna wake up in a smoothie)
Too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi'
(Stone-cold press, mutha'ucka!)
Too many mutha'uckas
'Uckin' with my shi'
How many mutha'uckas?
Too many to count, mutha'ukas

[Hook 2: Bret & (Jemaine)]
I've got hurt feelings, I've got hurt feelings
(A lot of people think that
Rappers don't have feelings)
(But the Hiphopopotamus
And the Rhymenoceros
Have feelings)
I've got hurt feelings
(It hurts our feelings when you
Suggest that we don't have feelings)

[Verse 3: Jemaine]
I make a meal for my friends
Try to make it delicious
Tryin' to keep it nutritious
Creatin' wonderful dishes
But not one of those muthafudges
Thinks about how I feel
Because not one mutha'ucka
Compliments my meal
[Hook 3: Both (Jemaine)]
And I've got hurt feelings
Yes, I've got hurt feelings
(I spent a long time
On that casserole, ass-a-hole)
I've got hurt feelings
I got hurt feelings
(Why don't you take
These profiteroles
And put them up
Your shi'-ta-holes, hey)

[Verse 4: Bret]
Here's a little story
Bring a tear to your eye
I was shopping for a
Wet suit to SCUBA dive
But every suit I tried
Was too big around my thighs
The assistant suggested
I try a lady's size, well

[Hook 4: Both (Bret)]
I got hurt feelings
(I'm not gonna wear
A lady's wet suit!
No! I am a man!)
Yeah, I've got hurt feelings
I got hurt feelings
(Why don't you get me
A small man's wet suit, bitch?)
[Verse 5: Jemaine]
Talkin' 'bout my birthday
The year 2003
And I'm waiting for a
Phone call from my family

[instrumental break, cheering and hollering from the crowd]

It's 12:23
They forgot about me

[Hook 5: Both (Jemaine)]
(And I've got hurt feelings
I've got hurt feelings
The day after my birthday's
Not my birthday, Mum
Thanks for the message!)
I've got hurt feelings
I've got hurt feelings
(It's your birthday
We're gonna party like your
Mum forgot your birthday)

[Verse 6: Bret]
Well, I called my friends
Said let's go into town
But they're all too busy
To go into town
So I go by myself
I go into town
Then I see all my friends
Yeah, they're all in town
Yeah, they all drive
Past in Simon's car
So I follow them
Down to the cinema
Yeah, well, seein' them without me
It breaks my heart
When they go to watch that movie
Dirty Grandpa
'Cause they know I love
The work of Robert DeNiro
They know Zac Efron
Is a personal hero
They know I suffer from chronic FOMO
Told them 'bout the movie
I sent them promo

[Interlude]
Nigel:
I've got hurt feelings
I've got hurt feelings

[cheers and applause from the audience]

Jemaine (spoken):
Nigel

Nigel, you're supposed
To just do the...

But...

That was really good

Bret (spoken)
That was good, yeah

Jemaine (spoken)
That was really good, man

[Bridge: Bret & (Jemaine)]
Have you been told
That your ass is too big?
(Have you ever been asked
If your hair is a wig?)
Have you ever been told
You're mediocre in bed?
(Have you ever been described
As having a weird-shaped head?)
Have your friends ever
Forgotten you and driven away?
(Yes, they have
They forgot about J)
Were you ever called "homo"
'cause at school you took drama?
(Have you ever been told
That you look like a llama?)

[Outro: Bret & (Jemaine)]
Tears of a rapper
(These are the tears of
A rapper falling down you)
I'm crying tears of a rapper
(These are the tears
Of a rapper falling down on you)
These are diamond tears of a rapper
(These are the tears of a rapper)
Golden tears of a rapper
Titanium tears of a rapper
(These are the tears of a rapper
Falling down on you mutha'uckas)