Chris Rock
Never Scared - Relationships and marriage
The problem with relationships, people want too much.
Everybody's looking for a soul mate.
"We're soul mates, we're one, we're soul mates.
"I'm a Pisces, he's Aquarius, we're perfect. We're soul mates, it's incredible."
"His moon is my star and it's a soul mate.
"We complete each other and finish each other's sentences.
"The other day I said, 'Honey, it's gonna rain,' and he said rain too!
"It's amazing! It's like we're telekinesic, we're telekinesic.
"It's incredible, my God."

Nobody gets a soul mate. It don't happen.
All you gonna get in life if you lucky is a mate.
Just a mate.
Somebody you fuck, go to movies with.
You fuck, go to another movie.
You fuck, go to a comedy show.
You fuck, go to your grandmomma's house.
You fuck, go to your momma's house. You fuck, go see another movie.
Somewhere in between fucking and movies, he goes, "Wanna get something to eat?"
That's all relationships are, they ain't that complicated. It's just fucking and eating.
If you don't like fucking somebody and you don't like eating with them, y'all don't need to be together.

...

Even if you meet the perfect person,
it ain’t gonna be at the perfect time.
You’re married, they’re single. That’s right.
You’re Jewish, they’re Palestinian.
[I would like to understand the next sentence]
You’re a Mexican, they’re a raccoon.
You’re a black woman, he’s a black man.

...