RuPaul
Kardashian: The Musical
NORTH WEST:
How could one woman take her family of girls

BLAC CHYNA:
And make a media dynasty that took over the world

KYLIE JENNER:
You can criticise and play a hate and say you don't care

KENDALL JENNER:
But the Met Ball would suck if their asses weren't there

KOURTNEY:
So with E!, Instagram, Snapchat and the ESPYs

KHLOE:
They fuss and fight and disrespect but always end up besties

KIM:
These Calabasas queens give us life, their so glam

EVERYONE:
And here's how this clan became the new royal fam.....

KIM KARDASHIAN:
Fam...ily...
EVERYONE:
LES DEUX NIGHTCLUB, HOLLYWOOD, 2006

BRITNEY SPEARS:
Oh yeah yeah yeah
I'm Britney and you should hear how I sing

LINDSAY LOHAN:
I'm Lindsay (cough) and fire crotch is my thang

PARIS HILTON:
That's hot, I'm Paris and I don't have to do anything

BRITNEY:
No...

PARIS HILTON:
But bitches bow down cause I'm new miss thing

BRITNEY, LINDSAY AND PARIS:
Paparazzi poppin pictures cause' we dress so fancy

BRITNEY:
Alright

BRITNEY, LINDSAY AND PARIS:
But Perez only posts when we're not wearing panties
BRITNEY:
Oops I think I just did it again

LINDSAY LOHAN:
Hey you, get out the way, our pussies are on fire

KIM KARDASHIAN:
No, they're just on displa-yay-yay-yay

BRITNEY, LINDSAY AND PARIS:
(talking)
Oh my God, she's right
Oh my God, it's totally out
Yeah

PARIS HILTON:
Anyways
Who are you?

KIM KARDASHIAN:
I'm Kim

BRITNEY SPEARS:
Kim Who?

THE KARDASHIANS:
Kimberly Kardashian
LINDSAY LOHAN:
Who?

THE KARDASHIANS:
Kimberly Kardashian

BRITNEY SPEARS:
That's what I thought you said

KIM KARDASHIAN:
Hey Britney, can I be in your gang?

LINDSAY LOHAN:
If you hold our Birkin bags then maybe you can hang (cough)

KIM KARDASHIAN:
Hey Paris, how'd you get so famous?

PARIS HILTON:
You make a home movie and you just act shameless

KIM KARDASHIAN:
(talking)
What kind of movie?

EVERYONE:
KRIS'S OLD HOUSE, CALABASAS, 2007

KRIS:
Kimmy I should be your manager, you know since I'm your mom

KHLOE:
Mom, you're such an amateur

KOURTNEY:
You're definitely bomb

EVERYONE:
Momager

KRIS:
That's me
Is that absurd?
Kourt, Khlo, I think I just made up a word

EVERYONE:
Momager

KRIS:
I'll put you on a TV Show
I'll film you eating salad and we'll rake in the dough

EVERYONE:
Momager

KIM, KOURTNEY AND KHLOE:
We're sist-er-errrs ah oooohh
Sisters...

KIM KARDASHIAN:
I'm Kim and I'm the bombshell
Banging booty you know well
There's Ray J then Kanye with a pit-stop in the NBA
And I break the internet every other day
Suckers

KHLOE KARDASHIAN:
I'm Khloe
And I only date ballers
Revenge bod that makes them all holla
As the gay boys favourite, you know it's true
It's large in the charge, but you already knew-ooh ooh
Sisters

KOURTNEY KARDASHIAN
Are you keeping up?
I'm Kourtney, I'm the little big sister in the family
I'm educated, with a college degree
So why do I let Scott stick his Disick in me

KIM, KOURTNEY AND KHLOE:
We're sist-er-errrs ah oooohh
We're the OG three

KRIS JENNER:
Don't you mean four, like four sisters

KIM, KOURTNEY AND KHLOE:
Mom...
Sist-er-errrs ah oooohh
It's the U.S of K
No ones gonna come take that away
Sisters

EVERYONE:
KRIS'S NEW HOUSE, CALABASAS, 2014

KENDALL AND KYLIE:
Hello.... hello

KRIS JENNER:
Kendall, Kylie, please report to your momager

KENDALL AND KYLIE:
We love our big sisters
They're oh so adoring
But your storylines were starting to
Get a little boring
We were in the background
But we've come along way
Now you can't spell Kardashian without a big fat J
Get it...Yeah

KENDALL JENNER:
Hey my name is Kendall
And I'm a supermodel
I took to the runway like a baby with a bottle
I've walked for Oscar, Karl and Dion Von Fursty
I shine in the limelight while my sisters are thirsty

KYLIE JENNER:
I'm Kylie
I'm the one with the lips
80 million fans with my make-up tips
I've got my own clothing and my own mouth plumper
Got a Jenner face and a Kardashian dumper

KENDALL AND KYLIE:
We've got the best selling apps
We're an online addiction
Sisters ruling the world
And we'll keep on kicking...ass

BLAC CHYNA:
Don't think y'all can do this without me
Blac Chyna up in here uh, Blac Chyna
I'm a video vixen of Ameri-kardashian
Sisters wanna come for me
Suck it, I'm trashin em'
Had a Baby with Tyga
But he dumped me for Kylie
I'm the Kardashian wrecking ball
But don't call me Miley
I'm stealing the spotlight
And one can help me
While you biting my coat tails and liking my selfies
Uh alright
I'm out (x4)

EVERYONE:
OUTER SPACE, 2025

NORTH WEST:
This new American dynasty has only just begun
Next is the galaxy so step aside hun
My name is North West
Don't be acting all distressed
I became the best of the rest by nursing on Kim's breasts
I'm the new face of rep reality royalty
Had my first fragrance out while I was only age three
President at nine, then queen of the milky way
Then I cured cancer, yes it started with a K
Now Kim is now my momager but Kris is still here
She gon' be running this show for 3000 more years
Selfie, click

BRITNEY SPEARS:
Do we still take selfies in the future?

PARIS HILTON:
That's hot

EVERYONE:
The greatest story ever told
And we've only just begun

KIM, KOURTNEY AND KHLOE:
We're not famous for nothing

EVERYONE:
We're the Kardashians

KRIS JENNER:
Kar-dassshii-annnss

KIM KARDASHIAN:
Now streaming on DVD