[Verse 1]
Get crushed by a crusher...
Destroy vital apparatus
Find a way into Android Hell...
Run too fast on a pool of Propulsion Gel

[Chorus]
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!

[Verse 2]
Play Hide'n'Seek with a turret...
Stand in front of an Energy Pellet
Push your friend into toxic waste...
Shoot a portal straight into outer-space

[Chorus]
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!

[Verse 3]
Rub your face on a Hard-Light Bridge...
Forget your boots and fall off the edge
Suffocate in toxic gas...
Look at the operational end of the device
[Chorus]
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!

[Verse 4]
Fall out of a test chamber...
Gеt thrown down an incinerator
Consume a lot of bouncy-goo...
I wonder, what's this rеd button do?

[Chorus]
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!
Dumb ways to die!
So many dumb ways to die!

[Bridge]
Donate one or more of your vital organs...
Fall into a pool of deadly toxins
Go into cryosleep when there's no more power...
Get put into a potato and get eaten by a crow
Stand around a platform heading towards fire...
Wait around for Half-Life 3!
[Chorus 2]
They're the dumbest ways to die!
The dumbest ways to die!
The dumbest ways to die!
So many dumb...
So many dumb ways to die!

[Outro: Turret]
Be safe around portals
A message from Aperture Science!