I been Norman Mailer'd, Maxwell Taylor'd
I been John O'Hara'd, McNamara'd
I been Rolling Stoned and Beatled till I'm blind
I been Ayn Rand'd, nearly branded
Communist, 'cause I'm left-handed
That's the hand I use, well, never mind!

I been Phil Spector'd, resurrected
I been Lou Adler'd, Barry Sadler'd
Well, I paid all the dues I want to pay
And I learned the truth from Lenny Bruce
And all my wealth won't buy me health
So I smoke a pint of tea a day

I knew a man, his brain was so small
He couldn't think of nothing at all
He's not the same as you and me
He doesn't dig poetry. He's so unhip that
When you say "Dylan", he thinks you're talking about Dylan Thomas
Whoever he was
The man ain't got no culture
But it's all right, ma
Everybody must get stoned

I been Mick Jagger'd, silver daggered
Andy Warhol, won't you please come home?
I been mothered, fathered, aunt and uncled
Been Roy Halee'd and Art Garfunkel'd
I just discovered somebody's tapped my phone