Original Broadway Cast of The Band’s Visit
Papi Hears the Ocean
[PAPI]
I don't know, with the girls, I don't know what to do
I don't know where to start
I'm smarter up here than I am down here
And up here, I'm not too smart

They might say one thing or another
They might have smiled at me once or twice
If they have breasts and they're not my mother
Then all I hear is- [he makes an ocean noise]

And the hands get heavy, oh the hands
I don't know what to do with the hands or the feet
Frozen in fear like a deer with the lights
In their eyes in the middle of the street

She might be wanting to get touchy-feely
She might be talking to me really nice
She might as well be speaking Swahili
'Cause all I hear is- [he makes an ocean noise]

And my tongue gets big
And I can't move my knees
And my eyeballs freeze
And all I see's a tunnel
And there's cotton in my head
My legs are full of lead
And my brain goes deader than the Dead Sea
Dead, dead
Dead in the mind and I find that I kind of
Go into an infantile trance
I'm peeing in my - not literally - peeing in my -
But, you know, I may as well be - peeing in my -

Then I lose my wits
And my lights go off
I get all sticky in the pits
And I smell like falafel
And my ears get hot
And I feel real awful
And all I hear is-

Dead, dead, dead!
Belly up, going round
Sinking down, down, down
Like a schmuck

Dead in the head
Dead in the water
Dead in a magical sea
Full of suck!

Go ahead and tell me I should keep on trying
Go ahead and tell me I should break the ice
I'll be standing here, deaf and dying
And all I'll hear is...
[The sounds of the ocean]