[Hook: Nadia Ali]
Since I saw you last/
I been holding back/
I figured I should do just that/
I thought i'd crack/
But I smiled instead/
I let you read the fine print/

[Verse 1: Joka]
When you left I didn't know who I was/
I felt like all I was/
Was love/
Tears for ya absence/
Fear became passion/
Asking god/
Questions I shouldn't be asking/
Sitting/
Hating living/
Hitting my self/
And gasping/
Becoming more persistent/
With every minute passing/
To have you back when/
You was gone forever lasting/
The scorned/
Im just masking the torment/
And laughing way more/
When the habits becoming boring/
And im just acting real numb/
But that pain ain't gone/
So im just acting/
Real dumb/
When I could let it all out/
Pick up my life & keep going/
But im paused like a game/
When real lifes going on/
And it's funny when I smile/
I ain't never feeling joy/
Im just posing/
Like a toy/
And you know/
I employ/
Misery/
When literally/
Just spiritually/
Destroyed/
Crocidile tears/
From a clown/
Enjoy/

[Hook]

[Bridge: Joka]
Im holding back/
Holding back/
I hold it back/
I gotta hold it back/
Im holding back/
Gotta hold it back/
Im holding back/
Gotta hold it back/

[Verse 2: T.O]
Looking in the mirror/
Lying to myself/
My mind playing tricks/
So I'm yearning for some help/
But Im learning that the steps/
Would lead me to some wealth/
But money just made me felt/
Like hell, it made me melt/
Empty on the inside/
Caught up quick/
With many of things/
Complex thoughts/
Fiend for a smile/
So I dreamed/
But I woke up to the same things/
The pain that the world brings/
The stress that success breeds/
Seems to stampede/
So I vowed to myself I'll never fail/
Locked myself all alone in a mental jail/
Rebelling from the same thoughts/
Naw im not doing well/
But when they ask/
I just act, like im living swell/
The outside appearance/
The fake smiles/
The handshakes, the head nods are all not/
Real, so yeah I've been playing good/
Wishing that my life could be the way it should/
Im like/

[Hook]