[Verse 1]
Waking up alone in a hotel bathroom
Tryna get a grip but the room still spins
Checking on my phone, I got sixteen missed calls
Gotta get back home to the wife and kids
I'm pushing eighty five on a local freeway
Got the president on my speakerphone
He's getting pretty mad but I don't wanna hear it
Just another day as a CEO

[Pre-Chorus]
I'm so special
I'm so great
I'm the best fucking person in the USA

[Chorus]
Bring me the money, I want the cash
You better stuff it all in a big paper bag
It's not my fault that you're still fucking broke
I'm a bigtime hotshot CEO

[Interlude]
Breaking news, CEOs around thе world rejoice
As income inеquality reaches its highest level yet
Good job, guys
[Verse 2]
Everybody look at my brand new spaceship
Made it myself 'cause I'm really really smart
Now I don't worry 'bout trash in the ocean
If it gets bad I can leave for Mars
I took a paycheck from a dad 'cause I wanted a raise
He'll be just fine, it's just minimum wage
Never did time, always beating my case
I'm rich, it's okay

[Pre-Chorus]
I'm so special
I'm so great
I'm the best fucking person in the USA

[Chorus]
Bring me the money, I want the cash
You better stuff it all in a paper bag
It's not my fault that you're still fucking broke
I'm a bigtime hotshot CEO