Marc Shaiman
Little Boy, Be a Man
[FRANK SR, spoken]
It's the way of the world, Carl
Our fathers screw us up, we turn around, do the same thing to our kids
Eternal cycle

[HANRATTY, spoken]
Until somebody breaks it

[FRANK SR]
"Little boy, be a man"
Yeah, that was Pop's only plan
He never kissed me
Or sang "Baby Mine"
Sure, I'd have loved a hug
But hey, I came out just fine
And if I ever would cry
He'd smack the tear from out my eye
He told me "Grow up, kid
You're no Peter Pan
Little boy, be a man"

[HANRATTY, spoken]
But, you wanna do your kid better. Right?

[FRANK SR, spoken]
You got any kids, Carl?
[HANRATTY, spoken]
I do not

[FRANK SR, spoken]
Then what the hell do you know about it...
I supose your father was a prince

[HANRATTY, spoken]
Yep. Of darkness

(singing)
Little man, grow some balls

[FRANK SR, spoken]
Oh he did not

[HANRATTY, spoken]
He did too, every single morning

(singing)
That motto rang
Throughout the halls

(spoken)
True story:
(singing)
On my tenth birthday
He showed me a gun

[FRANK SR, spoken]
Yeah?

[HANRATTY]
Then took me to the cornfields
And said "Okay, run."
His sense of humor was lame

[FRANK SR, spoken]
Like father, like son

[HANRATTY, spoken]
Hey

(singing)
Lucky for me, so was his aim!
If he had sewn some needlepoint
That hung on the walls
It would've said "Little man
Grow some balls"

[BOTH]
Ballgames that he missed
Nights he came home pissed
Well I don't think about
That any longer
[HANRATTY]
No one in the bleachers

[FRANK SR]
Fistfights with my teachers

[BOTH]
I'm living proof
What doesn't kill ya
Makes ya stronger

[HANRATTY, spoken]
So what do you say we set the kid straight? Huh, Frank?

[FRANK SR, spoken]
Hey, the kid's doing great, he's doing fine!

[HANRATTY, spoken]
You sure about that?

[FRANK SR, spoken]
Oh you gotta let go, Carl. You can't hang on forever

(singing)
Little man, little me
They come with no warranty
I tried to fix it
But who would've guessed
It's hard to say, but father

[BOTH]
Doesn't always know best

[HANRATTY, spoken]
That is the truth

[FRANK SR]
So Carl, when you have a kid

[HANRATTY]
My ex said heaven forbid...

[FRANK SR]
Do as I say, not as I did

[BOTH]
Like dad after dad
After dad after dad
Since the whole mess began

[FRANK SR]
You do the best that you can

[CARL]
"Little boy, be a man"