Marc Shaiman
I Never Met a Wolf Who Didn’t Love To Howl (SMASH Cast Version)
[IVY ("MARILYN")]
When you are born with sex appeal
In a forest called Hollywood
You'll find more wolves at your backdoor
Than that Little Red Riding Hood
Now she and her little old grandma
Could have learned from the men I've dated
That a wolf can be quite a devotee

[IVY & JULIA]
Once he's domesticated!

[IVY]
Here's a lesson they should teach in school
When a girl gets curvy, and the boys all drool
If math and science just ain't your style
Just give that teacher a wink and a smile
For a passing grade, you won't have to wait
And you can thank him later when you graduate

'Cause I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!

[Ensemble howls!]

No, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl
[ENSEMBLE]
Shimmy, shimmy, ah, gimme, gimme!

[IVY]
If a nice diploma you wanna get
Well, then, make that teacher the student's pet
Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!

You never know where a wolf might crouch
But his natural habitat's the casting couch
So take lots of pictures of the wildlife
To tell the wolf you could share with his wife
The Hunter gets captured by the game
Then Leo the Lion will be roaring your name!

Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!
[Ensemble howls!]
No, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl
If your face and figure are whistle bait
Then honey, you'll have the keys to the studio gate!
Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!
[Ensemble howls!]

[ENSEMBLE]
The three little piggies sure had it wrong
When the wolf came-a-knockin' with that old song
[IVY]
He was huffin' and puffin' sayin' "Marilyn, I gotcha!"
I say "Come on in" and I put on Sinatra
Oh, Frankie!

A wealthy wolf likes to buy his toys
But he really is just one of the boys
If you've got something for which he's cravin'
It sure is good that he's been savin'
Be a fan, give his cheek a peck
But get his autograph on a cashier's check

Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!
[Ensemble howls!]
No, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl
[Ensemble howls!]
Even if that wolf's just a grey old goat

[LYLE]
WHAT?!

[IVY]
He still will make a nice fur coat
Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!
[Ensemble howls!]
Go, baby, go!
[Musical Interlude]

[IVY & ENSEMBLE]
Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!
[Ensemble howls!]
No, I never met a man who wasn't on the prowl
[Ensemble howls!]
This wolf looks like he's ready to dine

[LYLE]
Tell me, where can I sign on the dotted line?

[IVY]
Yeah, I never met a wolf who didn't love to howl!
[Ensemble howls!]
Oh, yeah!