Marc Shaiman
The National Pastime (SMASH Cast Version)
[IVY & (MALE Chorus)]
Fellas! (Yeah?)
Fellas! (Is it?)
Hey, team! (Off the benches, it’s Marilyn!)

I just got a date (She just got a date!)
With baseball’s Joltin’ Joe! (That lucky so-and-so!)
So run me ‘round the bases
Put me through my paces
And teach me all the things a slugger’s lover
Should know

What’s that there? (That’s the pitcher’s mound!)
Have you ever seen a shape that is so perfectly round?
(Batter up!) Play ball!
(You better give it your all!)
‘Cause all men like to play at
The national pastime

Who’s that man? (That’s the first base coach!)
Have you noticed that he signals every time I approach?
(Kill the ump!) Throw him out!
(Because there isn’t a doubt) That all men like to play at
The national pastime!

When I was just a little girl
I liked being dainty and purty
But now that I’m giving sports a whirl
I find I kinda like to get dirty! (Yeah!)
(Baby, what’s that there?) That’s the team bullpen
And I like the odds I’m seeing: no girls, all men!
(Hit the deck, look alive! Beware the lady's line drive!)
Because my skill and my passion’ll
Elevate the national...

[Musical Interlude]

Peanuts!
Hot Dogs! Crackerjack!
I don’t care, I don’t care if I ever get back!

[Musical Interlude]

(When the season’s over, the play won’t end...)
‘Cause a baseball diamond is a girl’s best friend!

[IVY & Chorus]
Yes, my style and my fashion’ll
Elevate the national pastime!