Epic Beard Men
Man Overboard
[Intro]
Man overboard
And I say make him drown
What was that?
Man overboard
Drown, motherfuckers

Man overboard, let him drown
Man overboard, let him drown
Man overboard, let him drown
Drown, motherfucker, drown

[Verse 1]
[B Dolan]
They told us focus on the distance to cope with the motion sickness
Lower doses on prescriptions and tell us your known conditions
The smoke rose from the engine, we slowly noticed the difference
In the tone of those announcements then the power started dipping
(Hit the switch!)

Which is right when faulty back-up generator number six
Speared a fireball that nearly cleared the deck and killed a kid
Kicking off a frantic stampede for the lifeboats
Panic at the information desk from guests in white robes
Each demanding VIP exceptions get them flights home
But no hope was in sight for tourists trapped beneath the microscope
In a floating petri dish and leaky ship no one could quite tow
Beneath the darkened chandelier we heard from our polite host
‘The karaoke competition’s cancelled for tonight, folks’
But all of that was years ago it turns out there’s nowhere to go
Down here we’re all prepared to float and let the current steer the boat
And anyhow we found a different type of fun
'Cause if you hit the nightly lottery your vacation is done

[Chorus]
Man overboard, let him drown
Man overboard, let him drown
Man overboard, let him drown
Drown, motherfucker, drown

[Verse 2]
[Sage Francis]
The announcement said ‘Don’t set yourself on fire to keep others warm’
The safety dance was underperformed
They looked at our hands to write a song
To save us all from Lord of the Flies, Children of the Corn
The captain bounced his last rain check during one heck of a thunderstorm
Now every red cent that you pinch attracts sharks 'cause they smell blood
Do your best to escape without scratch marks from hell’s tub
If you’re the brash type who haggles, then you don’t deserve the upgrade
Pack light when you travel, Waterworld isn’t your runway
Gotta greet the royals with a ‘Hail, Satan!’ and an ‘Amen!’ and a ‘Surf’s up!’ and a ‘Hang ten!’
It’s when the hangman turns up like, word up

Right now you might not feel hurt but this is an unsafe spot
So either stay put with one slave foot in the grave plot or take your shot
New Jacks have to inflate their muscles or they ain’t allowed in
Hustlers, so wet behind the ears they’re always in danger of drowning
You special spectacles of bloody passion, ugly in action
Take a picture and use a filter and then hold a contest for the funny caption
Criminal sketch comedy troupes are bound to cash in
And they don’t answer to anybody, buddy! Well, nobody’s asking

And that’s the escape clause. We’re all hip to the lawyer speak
Very slick with the PR, never actually clean the oil leak
Seriously, stayin' silent is a crime in certain instances
Bein' a bystander doesn’t grant you innocence
But listen to this

Man overboard
We see the effort you’re in trouble
Man overboard
We definitely recognize the struggle
Man overboard
But the lifeguard is off duty
And you’re only lying in a puddle
Motherfucker, stand up
[Outro]
Yeah, the conditions (stand up) were basically the exact opposite of our expectations
Of what we thought we booked back in December (stand up) or January
Ya know, we were told it would be a private island in the Bahamas
There would be private jets (stand up)
And (stand up) the reality was a stark contrast to what we were expecting
We weren’t expecting to (stand up)
I think they told us there were going to be gourmet food trucks there
Or something along those lines
I have to give credit to the staff, because
There was no organization when it came to the accommodations
There weren’t even basic needs
There wasn’t enough water, there wasn’t enough lodging