[Round 1: Harold Perrineau]
Yo, on Lost we was close, but I haven't seen you in years
’Cause these days the only plane crash is both of your careers
Lookin' back, though, my favorite time was first season
When Daniel didn't talk, that’s prolly the reason
I was stoked to see Crazy Rich Asians blow up
My favorite part was when Daniel's ass didn't show up
And yo, Colony got cancelled, Josh, that's a bummer
'Cause you look like the Skarsgårds' ugliest brother
[Round 1: Josh Holloway]
Harold, make fun of my career, but what's he done?
Sure, you're in the Matrix movies, but just the bad ones
You’re forgettable on Lost, but it was all your fault
The only thing you ever did was look sad and scream, "Walt!"
You must be aware that your career’s folding
People asking you to autograph as Henry Golding
You produce The Good Doctor, it had the "it factor"
But pull from your own life, and call it "The Bad Actor"
[Round 1: Daniel Dae Kim]
What happened to Josh Holloway, he looks like death
Or Jamie Lannister, if Game of Thrones had meth
You [?] Sawyer so you'd be a better fit
So now we know why he’s an insufferable prick
As far as TV dads, we all know that Michael sucked
The best thing he did for Walt was blow himself up
You're no match on the mic, so tonight you'll be dyin'
Which finally gives Lost an ending that’s satisfyin'
[Round 2: Harold Perrineau]
Daniel spent seven seasons on Hawaii Five-O
And every scene you was in just Hawaii five-blows
On Lost you played a gangster, which is hard to believe
That's like telling me that Josh actually knows how to read
And on Lost you had a look that was completely disturbing
And it was a mix of Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban
And yes, beauty truly is in the eyes of the beholder
But damn! White dudes look like sh*t when they get older
[Round 2: Josh Holloway]
Harold, I'll be honest, don't know why you're smilin'
Your hairline's so far back I think it's stuck on the island
Romeo + Juliet, sadly you were lackin'
The movie's real tragedy was truly your actin'
You're the reason Daniel Day Lewis left he game
He was embarrassed you shared two-thirds of his name
You wanted to beat me, well, you missed your goal
'Cause you may be from South Korea, but you got no soul
[Round 2: Daniel Dae Kim]
Josh started as a model, which is just enough evidence
To prove he should never do a show called Intelligence
Saw Mission Impossible, bought myself a ticket
Just to see your ass die in the first four minutes
Came here tonight just to show you who's boss
Now I get the show's title, 'cause ya both just lost