[Round 1: Kermit the Frog]
I'm excited to be here, competing in rhyme
Now let's all play fair and try to have a good time
So to Beeker, hello, and Miss Piggy, what's up?
If I had Pepé's arms, I'd give you four thumbs up
And also, Miss Piggy, working with you is rough
'Cause you're so talented you show the rest of us up
Well, that's my first verse; was it worth the wait?
I'll be listening over here, I'm sure you'll both be great

[Round 1: Miss Piggy]
Kermie, what was that? You even trying to compete?
We're on Drop the Mic, not Sesame Street
You used to be a star, it was easy being green
But now you're just a tea-sippin', glorified meme
And Pepé looks hurt, so I know we're gonna win
You're a shrimp for Heaven's sake, you should have thicker skin
And when I serve you, it won't be breakfast with eggs
My menu has just one item: shrimp and frog legs

[Round 2: Pepé the King Prawn]
Can Miss Piggy be up here? Was there a safety report?
I'm really not sure how much weight this stage can support
You think you're so great, but you're clearly mistaken
You may be the pig, but we bring home the bacon
Beaker, that's just a fancy name for a cup
A lab explosion's the only way you'll ever blow up
I won't lose to this pork chop in her evening attire
Or a number-two pencil who looks like his eraser's on fire

[Round 2: Miss Piggy & Beaker]
Why you smiling, Pepé? You shouldn't be so happy
I'll sauté you, grill you up, and serve the crowd shrimp scampi
Pork chop? Uh-uh, don't say that to a lady
You're like a worm and a troll doll met and had a baby
It's obvious we won, you guys just sound weaker
So now I'm gonna pass it to my homie here, Beaker
Mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee
Mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee-mee

[Round 3: Pepé the King Prawn & Kermit the Frog]
You wear too much makeup and your hair is too big
I guess that's why they call it putting lipstick on a pig
And what's your problem, Kermit? Your rapping's a joke
This is all your fault, frog! You're gonna make our team croak

Let's just be calm, can someone lay down the law
Does anybody know the words to "Kumbaya"?
We should all be friends here, I mean gee golly gosh
The fact we're even fighting is total hogwash

[Round 3: Miss Piggy & Beaker]
Kermit, quit it with this nice-guy routine
Admit you're jealous of my talent, that's why you're green
And Pepé, how dare you? You're clearly a liar
Plus, your mother and your father were both appetizers
You think you have it rough? I'm stuck with this ginger
Who's out here looking like Carrot Top's finger
I'm too good for this battle, the only one with class
So all of you Muppets can kiss my Meeeeeee