[Round 1: Jodie Sweetin]
So I'm battling Mark McGrath, lead singer of Sugar Ray
The human equivalent of a Hot Topic ash tray
You really sold out after the success of "Fly"
Do you wake up every morning and just wanna cry?
When you were hosting Extra, it couldn't be sadder
You made Ryan Seacrest look like Dan Rather
In the '90s you were hot, but that's no longer the case
You look like Guy Fieri's hair on Tilda Swinton's face
[Round 1: Mark McGrath]
Well, that wasn't good, so you're about to get slayed
You should be writing the beat, your sister's a DJ
See Jodie's been infamous since the age of five
Forget "thank God it's Friday," thank God you're alive
And the show's been rebooted, I guess I'm impressed
They call it Fuller House, but it's more like Fuller Chest
I thought you'd be more fun with everything you've been through
But just like the Olsen twins, I want nothing to do with you
[Round 2: Jodie Sweetin]
Yo, Mark McGrath, what the hell happened to you?
Went from multi-platinum records to Sharknado 2
You're a stick of beef j*rky covered in tattoos
Your mom's a wallet chain, dad's a case of Mountain Dew
And your little brother's one of those upside-down visors
And you have two sisters that are Chili's appetizers
I took a wrong turn if I'm on stage with this loser
They got me battling the ghost of Macklemore's future
[Round 2: Mark McGrath]
You made fun of my family, come on, that's wild
You're the result of Bob Saget ignoring his middle child
And that TV show's plot, what was the about?
Like a San Francisco single dad could afford that house?
And now Hollywood Darlings is truly cutting-edge
You play the wild one, that's really a stretch
I was the cover of Rolling Stone, you got no clout
You should listen to Uncle Joey and "cut it out"
[Round 3: Jodie Sweetin]
Sugar Ray is named after one of boxing's greats
Bold choice for a guy with such a punchable face
In 1998, your life was first-class and great
Now you're at more state fairs than a funnel cake
And in 2018, I imagine you sit coach
Next to Smash Mouth, Marcy Playground, and Papa Roach
Your career's timeline, it just isn't fair
You went from selling out arenas to selling pretzels there
[Round 3: Mark McGrath]
To say I'm selling pretzels, that takes balls
You hit your prime when you were three feet tall
You talk about my timeline, are you insane?
Your career has more gaps than that clothing store chain
Did you ever think you'd find yourself at this place in life?
On Dancing with the Stars with Donald Trump's second wife?
You're supposed to be nostalgic, and trust me, I tried
But when I see you on TV, I just wanna die