[Round 1: Jay Pharoah]
Yo, you stupid, I don't know why you asked for this
It was my destiny to take you down, Marlon Colin Kaepernick
You was hot in the '90s, but you fallin' the further you go
Anthony Mackie got Marvel and you got G.I. Joe
He [?] actor, wanna work with his ex
You couldn't even get in the Black Panther cast
At least I did a flick with Soderbergh, what do you do?
Made a flick about your bare necessities, we should call you Baloo
So winner's pick, you do not fit
Ironic, only good role this man's ass had was as a white chick
Yas. Yaaas. J, you ready? Gimme somethin'--yo, yo, yo, yo
[Round 1: Marlon Wayans]
Yo, Jay calls himself a rapper, he thinks he'll take the title
But I'ma kick him off the stage like my name was Lorne Michaels
You're soft, Jay Pharoah, your nickname should be "Tissue"
How you leave SNL and nobody miss you?
As far as history, you won't even be remembered
Alec Baldwin got more time and he's not even a cast member
Your newest show got cancelled, sorry to bubble-burst
Maybe instead of White Famous you should black famous first
[Round 2: Jay Pharoah]
I said, you the wackest one in your fam, but you think you better
You the worst Wayan since McGregor vs. Mayweather
I'm the young king, boy, you should be calling me sire
He just p*ssed 'cause he auditioned, but I got Richard Pryor
You coulda called up your little bro, I woulda gave you some help
I mean, you ain't an impressionist, you just impressin' yourself
I saw that audition, Marlon, it was trash as sh*t
So in my Richard Pryor voice: sit yo' ass down, b*tch, quit
[Round 2: Marlon Wayans & (Jay Pharoah)]
Jay, Jay. Ayo, Jay
That's all you got? I thought this would be a challenge
Using Denzel's voice: negro, that ain't a talent
Wanna break into actin', but that ugly face don't help
You can sound like anyone, but you suck being yourself
You do Weezy, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock, and Will Smith
That's a list of people that don't know you exist (I met them!)
You do Jay Z's voice, but we ain't dumb
You got 99 problems, but a job ain't one
Let's go! Yo, yeah. All facts, people. Look
[Round 3: Jay Pharoah]
Marlon Wayans, he got a special called Woke-ish
I watched you die for an hour, it shoulda been called Croakin'
I'm not jokin', y'all on his di*k, well stop chokin'
Ain't a single line from your special, really, that's worth quotin'
Wait, I'm lyin', there's one line, I can quote that sh*t
It's the Morgan Freeman line you had from the Barack bit
I said, "That's fire, [Terrence?]," heh, when he whooped that trick?
And realized I remembered that 'cause I wrote that sh*t
Listen, you shoulda asked for my permission, I woulda gave you the bit
But he steal lines like monorails, and the Net gave him the flicks
[Round 3: Marlon Wayans]
Your Obama impression is basic and kinda sloppy
I hate it so much, I almost voted for Romney
You think you're Eddie Murphy, and that's disrespect
You ain't Axel Foley, you look like Donkey from Shrek
Starred in two shows, but they both went away
The reviews was like "nevermind, he's not Michael Che"
I bet you only hate me 'cause you wish you was my brother
'Cause everything you done is basically In Living Color, b*tch