[Round 1: Anthony Anderson]
Before I start this battle and get in your biz
Gotta thank you for your music that helped make my kids
Before I gas you up and make your head any bigger
How'd you make a career fallin' in love with strippers?
Usher has had a little problem with most women
And "problem," I mean he breaks up a tradition
I know it's hard to hear, but I have a burning question
How'd you get caught cheating and call it a confession?
[Round 1: Usher]
Anthony Anderson, the star of Black-ish
This supposed to be a celebrity battle, I got catfished
You lost some weight, yeah, your body, it speak
Tracee must be happy, she carries you every week
You host Animal Nation, where you and pets chat
And I got a confession, nobody watches that
On another note, I know what that's about
But don't think we'll ever ever ever ever ever ever
Forget you up in Big Momma's House
[Beatboxer Joshua Silverstein]
Daaamn, bad movie-movie
Make some noise if you've seen Big Momma's House! Drop that sh*t!
[Round 2: Anthony Anderson]
Usher's Justin Beiber's mentor since he was eight
Ooh, Usher, that looks like it's going great
You think you got me beat? C'mon now, really?
You need Pepto, 'cause yo ass couldn't even handle Chilli
Usher accidentally Snapchatted his p*nis
But half the women in Atlanta said, "I've already seen this"
And the shame of that mistake, Usher, you've gotta wear it
And embrace that yo di*k looks like a burnt baby carrot
[Round 2: Usher]
Uh, you been nominated for Golden Globes and Emmys
Year after year you come, but man, you still ain't won any?
Me, I won eight Grammys, what you think about that?
It's unbelievable that you ain't win for Kangaroo Jack
You can't dress, got no swag, whole style is ruined
Hairdo look like a c*ckroach family reunion
You 'posed to tell the truth, but your life is false
The only checks you gettin' is when the doctor holds your balls and says "cough"
[Round 3: Anthony Anderson]
I heard your latest album, I knew something was wrong
It's called Hard To Love, which describes every song
You were a judge on The Voice, that gig is recyclable
They only needed you to make Adam Levine likeable
Many of your songs I hold near and dear
Like "Let It Burn," that song about your movie career
I won this fair and square, admit you got beat
Because unlike you, Usher, I don't cheat
[Round 3: Usher]
Game show, talk show, actin', aw hell
Is there anything that Anthony Anderson does well?
I know what that make you, and it needs to be said
Yeah, you lost a lot of weight, but still got a big pumpkin head
Now-a-days you fit, but you used to be sloppy
You lookin' like you Photoshopped a head on yo body
If I had it my way, man, I'd battle myself
'Cause your rhymes, they make me wanna, wanna, wanna kill myself