Donald Fagen
Security Joan
Well, I guess I needed a miracle
If I was gonna make my flight
I had to get to gate C13
And it was still way out of sight

Something in my carry-on bag
Tipped off the x-ray machine
'Cause then an angel straight from heaven
Asked me to "step behind that screen"
And when I felt the wand sweep over me
You know I never felt so clean

Well, girl you won't find my name on your list
Honey you know I ain't no terrorist
Confiscate my shoes, my cellphone
You know I love, love, love you
Security Joan

I hung out at the Starbucks
'Til just around boarding time
Then I strolled on back to the checkpoint
Just one thing on my mind

She flashed that crooked smile and said
"Well, I believe you missed your flight"
I said, "There's been a minor change of plan
And I'll be stayin' for one more night"
I could tell from the way she looked at me
Everything was gonna be all right
Well, girl you won't find my name on your list
Honey, you know I ain't no terrorist
Confiscate my shoes, my cellphone
You know I love, love, love you
Security Joan, search me now

Well, girl you won't find my name on your list
Honey, you know I ain't no terrorist
Confiscate my shoes, my cellphone
You know I love, love, love you
Security Joan, hey, now