[Verse 1]
He was sittin' at the bar, sippin' on a regular Coke
We were drinkin' and smokin' and makin' him the butt of our jokes
We all said, "Man, what happened to you? Why can't you just have a few?"
He said, "I would if I could, but it's probably best that I don't"

[Chorus]
'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink
Then I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine
I get loud, I get proud
But it gets worse
Well, if I have one, I'll have thirteen
Nah, there ain't no in-between
'Cause, the more I drink, mm
The more I drink

[Verse 2]
A couple of cold ones and somebody hands me a shot
Hell, even buck-tooth and bow-legged women start lookin' hot
And pretty soon I'm bummin' cigarettes
And sweet-talkin' some big brunettes
Yeah, once I get on a roll
There ain't no tellin' where I'll stop

[Chorus]
'Cause the more I drink, the more I drink
Then I'm the world's greatest lover and a dancin' machine
I get loud, I get proud
And it gets worse
Yeah, if I have one, I'll have thirteen
Nah, there ain't no in-between
'Cause, the more I drink, the more I drink
The more I drink, yep, yep
[Bridge]
Mm, that's what I'm talkin' about

[Outro]
Man, if I have one, I'll have thirteen
And they can't get me off the karaoke machine
The more I drink
The more I drink
Yeah, the more I drink, the more I drink
The more I drink