When I first got to Rikers Island, I met this one dude. I forget his name, but he was a little Guyanese kid. He knew one of my mans on the street, and was like, “Yo I know so-and-so!” And I was like, “Aight, wassup.”
So he was cooking and he was like, “I want to show you how to make this sh*t.” He was right about it being “sh*t.” It’s called Prison Surprise in most prisons, and inmates modify it however they want. So I tried it, and it tasted like sh*t. Then I went to lay down and go to sleep hours later. All of a sudden I was feeling nauseous.
I was like, why am I feeling so f*cked up? I started sweating, like I was sweating bullets! I’m like yo, what the f*ck? Why I’m sweating like this? Then I just started throwing up. I ain’t know what was wrong with me, but I figured something must have been in that food I just ate. I caught the ill food poisoning or something real quick, yo. So I threw up like three times, and then they took me to the infirmary and just gave me an IV. That was my first day there!
At that point, I was like, I’m never eating somebody’s creation ever again. Don’t make me nothing. A lot of people f*ck with prison surprise. I’m not one of those people. But if you wanna be stupid enough to try it, I have the recipe for you.
P’s Don’t Try
This At Home
• Ramen noodles
• Doritos (you could also substitute with Cheez-Its or sliced cheese)
• Jack Mack (tuna works fine too)
• Hot sauce
Open the can of Jack Mack, and rinse the fish off gently. Take a bowl of water and microwave it for a minute or until it boils. Throw in Ramen noodles and stir it. Grab the chips and crush them up until they’re a fine powder and mix them in with cooked Ramen noodles. It’ll make like a cheese sauce. Throw in the Jack Mack, and then you eat it. Good luck, yo.
From commissary kitchen: my infamous prison cookbook published by Infamous Books.
You can download the audio version of commissary kitchen: my infamous prison cookbook for free on Amazon