[Verse 1]
I peck at the perfect Peking duck she cooked just for me
We sit at her table, my thigh’s touching her foot underneath
She sips her wine then asks if I like it with the Hoisin dip
While I pretend I haven’t realized she poisoned it

I lie and deflect with a classic bathroom excuse
And run the tap before I puke the food I had to consume to keep up the ruse
I return to her refilling her glass
As I try to discern if mine was mixed with pills from her batch

But eh, perhaps I’m being overly cautious
Also deploying this protective shield is so damn exhausting
It’s just a date, but I can’t this shake this awful feeling
That she’s a siren, deadly black widow, femme fatale in secret

Hold up, wait, what’s the reason she chose me over any other
She’s just feigning interest in me as to not blow her cover
It’s smart, so I take a bite and compliment the meat
‘Cause I can feel the eyes of the sniper who’s perched across the street

[Chorus with Atwood]
It's a perfect date, a perfect murder for tonight
A lovely evening or a planned out homicide
It’s a perfect date, a perfect cover for a crime
The first of many or the first and final time
It's a perfect date, a perfect murder for tonight
A lovely evening or a planned out homicide
It’s a perfect date, a perfect cover for a crime
The first of many or the first and final time

[Verse 2]
She washes off the Ginsu blade, I clean the table up and
I silently wish that we had had this lovely date in public
She starts raving ‘bout true crime and then motions towards the couch
Throws a documentary on right before I go turn her down

But before I know it my escape hatch slams shut
And we’re midway through exposés on crazed bandits, man hunts
Assassins and kidnappers, serial killers, and such
When I spy what looks just like a pistol in her bag, tucked
So I whip out the bathroom excuse, but it comes out jumbled
“I need to bath the room use!” - like full on run and fumble
Then I slink through the hallway out of sight and tie up my hi-tops
Burst into the night, sprint outside of the sniper’s eye shot

Safe and sound, except for those phoney vehicles
Unmarked vans and CIA agents disguised as homeless people
Under toxic chemtrails, and reptilians with different coloured fangs
At least I left her place unscathed to live another day


[Chorus with Atwood]
It's a perfect date, a perfect murder for tonight
A lovely evening or a planned out homicide
It’s a perfect date, a perfect cover for a crime
The first of many or the first and final time
It's a perfect date, a perfect murder for tonight
A lovely evening or a planned out homicide
It’s a perfect date, a perfect cover for a crime
The first of many or the first and final time