George Carlin
Answering Machines
And answering machines. Starting with people who think it's cute to let their children record the outgoing message, you know? Ugh... And you can't understand a word of it, 'cause the kid's a fuckin' imbecile
Hi my name is Stacy, i'm 5 years old, my mommy and daddy aren't home but -- (inaudible babbling) *beep*
Here's my message, Stacy... I'm comin' over to your house with a big knife. Then I'm going to kill mommy and daddy. Then I'm gonna peel off their skin and make a funny hat. After that, I'm gonna take out my huge ding dong and stick it right in your *beep*