[Verse 1: Quackity, BadBoyHalo, & Karl Jacobs]
I—
I walked down to the street, in Muffin Street
I see a poor old woman leaving her car
I walk up to her and I say the following words:
"Give me the damn keys, you little—" (Hey!) "—hamburger"
(I would not say that!)
I walk up to the 7-Eleven
I started buying myself some gummy worms (Hahaha)
Turns out that I forgot my credit card (Oh, no)
So I pull out my gun and say (Hey!)
I want this shit for free (Language!)

[Chorus: Quackity & BadBoyHalo]
You little potato (No!)
You little hamburger (I wouldn't do this!)
You muffinhead (This is a falsehood)
You dunderhead (Okay, I'd probably say that one)
You little potato (And maybe that one)
Gosh darn it (That one too)
The police are here (That wouldn't happen!)
Fudge my life (Dang it, Quackity!)

[Verse 2: Karl Jacobs & BadBoyHalo]
My namе is BadBoyHalo and I forgot just one thing (Ergh)
I love signs in Minecraft that say "I lovе penis" (No!)
My name is BadBoyHalo, what the muffin is up?
I'll tell you what's up: it's a sign that says "I love penis" (No!)
Oh my honk— wait, that's not his thing
[Interlude: Karl Jacobs, CaptainPuffy, & BadBoyHalo]
Oh my God, haha
It's alright, it's alright, it's alright
Oh my God
Don't be ashamed, Bad
I'm done, Karl

[Verse 3: Quackity & BadBoyHalo]
I'm driving down 123 Street
Breaking the law, well, you know me (No!)
I'm going twenty miles over the limit (Incorrect)
And I have ran over my buddy Skeppy (Okay)
Skeppy, what are you doing in the road? (What?)
You muffinhead, dunderhead, muffinfuck (Ay!)
It turns out I have ran over something of yours (Don't say it!)
It turns out I have ran over your (You're gonna die Quackit—) penis (Quackity! Stop it!)

[Chorus: Quackity, BadBoyHalo, & Karl Jacobs]
My tire has ruined your face
My tire has ruined your life (No!)
And I have to say something, I have fudged up (Oh my goodness)
I have fudged up
I have ruined your entire life
Heck, I'm gonna build you a statue (Oh my goodness)
It's gonna be a penis (No!)
I love signs that say penis (I don't! Stop it!)
Little hamburger penis, hahaha
[Verse 4: Quackity & BadBoyHalo]
Twenty years later I just got out of jail (Me Pedrenas)
I hop on the SMP, I gotta make things right
I go on top of my house, and I start to work
I start making the statue of Skeppy (Aw)
I count every det— (Okay, this is epic)
I count every detail, I make sure everything is right (Okay, this is epic)
Finally finished, oh, wait, there's one more thing to do
Don't say it (Okay, this is epic), don't, I'm not, no
I'm (Don't) doing his beautiful eyes (Okay)
And his beautiful face (That's better) (Okay, this is epic)
Doing all the things that make him human (There you go)
I think my best friend is the greatest (Mhm)
That's why I gave a— I gave him pissbrows (Hey!)

[Chorus: Quackity, BadBoyHalo, & Karl Jacobs]
(Pissbrows)
I love penis (Stop!) my name is BadBoyHalo (Stop!)
(Pissbrows)
Statues with pissbrows are the only way to go (That is incorrect)
(I gave him pissbrows, I gave him pissbrows)
I love penis, my name, it is BadBoyHalo (Stop it!)
(I gave him eyebrows made out of piss)
Statues with pissbrows are the only way to go (Oh my goodness)
I gave him pissbrows (No!)
I gave him pissbrows (I didn't!)
I gave him eyebrows (Stop it!)
Made out of piss (Stop it!)
[Verse 5: Quackity, BadBoyHalo, & Karl Jacobs]
I robbed a 7-Eleven (I love) (I did not)
And a hospital (Penis) (Why a hospital?)
Those muffinheads (I love)
They deserved it (Penis) (Oh my goodness)

[Interlude: Quackity & Karl Jacobs]
I robbed an— (I love) I robbed—
(I was trying to do background vocals)
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
And lastly, after BadBoyHalo got out of jail, he knew his time was over
BadBoyHalo was actually gonna die in two days
So to make sure he left his mark in the world, he did the following
Because out of his good heart, BadBoyHalo knew he had to make things right

[Verse 6: Quackity & BadBoyHalo]
Hello (Hi), this is BadBoyHalo (No, it's not)
I just want to say something to you guys before I die (No, I don't) (What's he gonna say?) (Nothing)
I love you guys (Okay, I'd say that)
You changed my life (Aww, I'd say that too)
You guys made my life a million times better (Mhm, this is true)
Before I just die
I want— I wanna just fly
And do a good thing for humanity (Do I have to die?) (Yeah) (Why?)
I got a GoFundMe for the local orphan centre (Mhm)
"Hold on, I gotta read the— Thank you so much Susana"
Those kids need so much help
Please donate to this charity
This orphan is called Johnny, and his parents left him
You can save his life and make it better with a donation
We got ten thousand dollars in this GoFundMe
And I wanna thank you guys for your generosity

[Verse 7: Quackity, BadBoyHalo, & Karl Jacobs]
I spent the last ten thousand dollars on bitches (Hey!) (Yeah!)
I used it on a vacation, fuck those orphans (No!)
They don't deserve this money
They're not about to die like me (No!)
I'm gonna steal this money and use it on a vacation (No!)
Woo, I love money (No, I don't!)
Woo, fuck those orphans (Stop saying that!)
I don't like those orphans (Stop it, Quackity!)
They don't deserve this as much as me (This is— argh, you're a muffinhead!)
Hey, if you donated to my GoFundMe (Argh)
Let me tell you something about your funds
You're never getting them back!
You're never getting cash back! (I hate you)
'Cause guess what, bitch? I'm about to die! (Quackity!)
I'm about to die (No!)
I'm about to die (Stop it!)
Oh, see you in hell, you stupid muffinheads (Why?)

[Outro: Quackity, BadBoyHalo, & Karl Jacobs]
BadBoyHalo loves penis (Stop saying that!)
Got a statue with pissbrows
I don't know what else to say, it's just funny
And also, muffinhead is a synonym for stupid sons of bitches