[Verse 1]
You're looking so sweet, getting stuck inside with you, there ain't much reason to complain
As long as you're in reach, I've got a reason to think things are gonna be okay
Next thing, you're taking off your dress, you put it on just to take it off, but nonetheless
We're moving to the bedroom and I must confess that I'm
Ready to lay you down but I'm astonished when I hear the sound

[Chorus]
One of these cats pissed the bed again, this happens every night
Which one of you emptied a gallon of piss on my pillow? you know this isn't right
Every night in this house, it's a new game of Clue, only piss is the weapon, and the murderer is one of you

[Bridge]
We called the vet, she said, "You need more litter boxes" but we don't have room for more litter boxes, so we stuck them in the jacuzzi (piss)
We keep a shower curtain at all times draped over the bed but the minute we forget, it's a new puddle of piss (piss)
I'm getting sick of this, I'm getting sick of cleaning piss, I'm sick of sleeping on the couch, I'm sick of not knowing who the perpetrator is

[Chorus]
One of these cats is an addict and it's addicted to pissing in our bed
Why can't it piss in the jacuzzi like the other cats?
Why is it insistent on pissing on every new bedspread?

[Outro]
Piss, piss, piss, piss
Piss, piss, piss, piss
Piss, piss, piss, piss