King of the Dot
Pat Stay & Rone vs Marlo & Shuffle T
[Organik]
King of the dot put your money where the mouth is
Halifax make some fucking noise
Shit
I'm gonna let the rappers introduce themselves. To my right
[Pat Stay]
Pat Stay, Nova Scotia

[Rone]
Pat Stays significant other
We'll leave it at that! We'll leave it at that!

[Organik]
All the way from the UK, introduce yourselves boys

[Shuffle-T]
Shoutout Murdoc mysteries, it's Shuffle- T and Marlo

Yo, yo, yo, no no no

[Marlo]
You know what, You know what, You know what
Make some noise for them
Again!
Again!

[Round 1: Pat Stay & Rone]

[Pat Stay]
So y'all are actors right
Magic Mike? Tight
I watched that shit twice
Last night
Fight Club?
Nice one
I was wondering where I recognized you guys from
Boy, what you know about a motherfucking polite thug?
Tight hugs, gang signs, I'm nice cuz'
I love you motherfucker

[Rone]
Yeah, he loves you motherfucker
And that's how you say that shit in sign cuz'

[Pat Stay]
You are such a stand up dude you don't even lie cuz'

[Rone]
You've been stand up dude so long you probably need your thighs rubbed

[Pat Stay]
I will make you keep your eyes closed
Cover your head with a blindfold
And lead you in the room with all your friends on your birthday
Like, "Surprise cuz!"
{Party whistle}
[Rone]
I don't know if ya'll better rappers or method actors
To show off your fucking memory, you said your verses
And then you said them backwards

[Pat Stay]
You could play Michael Clarke Duncan and William Shatner in the same scene and no one would be able to tell the difference after
{Rone growls}

[Rone]
Tell them how fucking forgiving they are

[Pat Stay]
This motherfucker is so forgiving
He caught me getting brains back at his girls place
Stole his watch he had since the third grade
He got from his dead dad on his birthday
Found his pet parrot decapitated with its head in the back of the birdcage
And he said he couldn't forgive me, because he wasn't mad in the first place

[Rone]
Fucking Shuffle-T is kind

[Pat Stay]
Fucking sweetheart
[Rone]
You ever talk to the kid
You got a bad situation, well he got a positive spin
And have you seen his golf swing?
The way he locks in his wrist
Kid loves musicals, knows every word to Oliver Twist
And look at fucking Marlo, my god is he trimmed
His body looks like he got fucking locked in a gym
I mean your chemistry is like you're fucking probably twins
So i just hope to compliment you as well as you compliment him

[Pat Stay]
Marlo is kind
Marlo is kind!
He saw my Facebook post about my missing wallet
An hour later he returns it with an extra fifty dollars
Then later I found mine in a different pocket
Open the one he gave me and saw his ID with his picture on it

[Rone]
And a couple condoms, we thought those would come in handy

[Pat Stay]
Yeah right
We tried them on, way to fucking baggy

[Rone]
Bro, your dick has a pulse
It grows like the Hulk

[Pat Stay]
Players

[Rone]
You buy plan B pills in bulk
You're so sarcastic and witty
I bet you fucked half of the city

[Pat Stay]
Get off of the plane all the girls just started flashing their titties

[Rone]
They sensed your animal instincts and your passion distinctly
Fucking you're so comfortable with yourself, the way you were dancing to Britney
They fucking saw your manners, it's like you're fucking back from the fifties
And how your dick will still get hard after a gallon of whiskey

[Pat Stay]
Whoo!
Ay, all jokes aside, real talk, soon as we landed we went to a bar for a couple drinks, that's it
You went to the bathroom and a stranger showed you his big fat dick
True story
So just when you think it's a joke and we just spit that shit
Now you know motherfucker, we really lived that shit
Gay Pride

[Round 1: Marlo & Shuffle T]
You are a man
You will always be a man
Every woman on Earth will always look at you as a man
Humongous, godlike winner
I have so much respect for dudes your size
You know what rhymes with "dudes your size"?
"You have the cutest eyes"

[Shuffle-T]
{Walks up to Rone}
You know what that means? You are mine

[Marlo]
Aye what's up Halifax?
We're Shuffle-T and Marlo and we're about to bless this stage again

[Shuffle-T]
Cause we repeatedly travel back in time to this exact moment to try and get as great as them

[Marlo]
We know everything they're about to say
Every step they take and when

[Marlo]
So you'd think by now we'd found a way

[Shuffle-T]
This is the 28th attempt

[Marlo]
Now I'm scrawny, balding
Ears damaged due to the tinnitus
But these two magical dudes got me feeling happy with who I am, they are truly my stimulus
With Pats lyrical ability, it's like the man's a student of literatures
And if I had just half the confidence Rone has
I'd be Bradley Cooper in Limitless
From your perfect oval face to your shoulder blades a whole display is disarming
Rone Bay the prince? More like Rone Bay the prince Charming!

[Shuffle-T]
This guy gets confused for being a poser
Not his fault he gives every human being a boner
He's got those Orlando Bloom attributes, I can't keep my composure
You got those looks of beauty sleep, you must have been in a coma

[Marlo]
You're the most attractive man in the universe, it's literally true

[Shuffle-T]
Camping test, men picture tent when he walks into the room

[Marlo & Shuffle-T]
Ray Charles said you're beautiful, Hellen Keller thinks that you're cute and Stevie Wonders wants to fuck the living shit out of you

[Marlo]
Pat, Pat is so unbelievably strong it's obscene
Back home my washing machine got a problem, it leaks
They deliver me a new one but I'm obviously shockingly weak
Plus they dropped it off at my three story apartment in the bottom for me
So I need a big, strong man built like an ox or a Greek
God on the scene to carry up three flights of stairs on the top of my street
And I think you’re the fucking man for the job if you’re free so holler at me

[Shuffle-T]
You fucking smooth talker
[M] moon walker
Your comedy timing's the best
That's why I wasn’t perturbed when my girl had gone for the night in your bed
I was happy as fuck that you fucked her
Soon as you got inside of her legs
And I won't ever, ever, ever let her wash her vagina again
Pat sees a damaged orphanage, he has to make a new one
He masturbates and you cum

[Marlo]
And Rone’s been self confident
Smooth talking slick little sailor from the jump
He could sell water to a whale just for fun
Making broker calls with Jordan Bellford nailing every one
He convinced Eminem that Hailie was his son
High payed seven figures in your funds
Well I got four words for that you little hunk
"Salesman of the month"

[Shuffle-T]
Pat, what I’m about to say is overdue
You’re physically amazing even your toes are huge, are those your shoes?
God only grants that height to a chosen few
You’re the size of a house, maybe that's why I feel so at home with you
Not done
And Rone is cute, especially when he’s hugging his daughters
That's right, he’s a decent guy not just a performer
He’s got that dad swag, well not that bad
I’m up in his corner because he carries it off well, like a bucket of water

[Marlo]
And last year, yeah, last year, your compliments battle destroyed ours

[S] We we’re gone in a second
[M] We’re not even in the same bracket
[S] Don’t belong in the sentence

[M]
It’s like finding a horror or western in the comedy section
But when you said that our battle inspired yours...
[S] Got an erection
[M] We’re so honored that you went and put us on in the session
Just to show our fucking gratitude
We got you a present

Last year, did you guys even realize what they’d achieved together
Man, what is it? 800k

[S] Surely 900k

[M] Isn’t it a million views given to our favorite people ever?

[S] When they stepped on stage and swept away and gave to sweet surrender

[M] Pat with the backwards cap with the zany green propeller

[S] Rone handing over to Pat one of Macy's knitted sweater in a shade of deep magenta

[M] These are the greatest people EVER

[S] Get in a fight with Pat, he’ll box heads like that famous scene in Seven

[M] Rone, your opponents always get pissed on like they were made to sleep with Bender

[S] And Pat fucking invented swag, there ain’t no predecessor

[M] They got a strange love for roles they play in this game like Peter Sellers

[S] No Pat, I will not have sex with you

[M] Said no lady breathing ever!

[Shuffle-T]
Guys, the compliments game has not been the same since you scraped the green together
And payed to fly out one of your neighboring nations secret treasures

[Marlo]
Make noise for Pat Stay and his major streams of cheddar
Dark (k)night press tour, if only they could see the Ledger

[Shuffle-T]
Your compliments battle was
[M] Amazing
[S] Genius
[M] Clever
[S] Crazy
[M] Decent
[S] Pleasant
[M] They
[S] were
[M] sweet as
[S] splendor
[M] Now that day
[S] Will be remembered

[Shuffle-T]
They looked at how our clash with Left and Jay could be developed

[Marlo]
Clay to be molded like Swayze in Ghost it was made to be embeddered

[Shuffle-T]
These beautiful humans saw room for improvement like when Drake released the record

[Marlo]
And turned up the fucking sexy in a way that we could never

[Shuffle-T]
It’s Lethal Weapon
[M] Evil Dead
There’s no debating the sequel’s better
In that battle there were no losers
So now we're getting out a pen

[Marlo]
Visual bad bar
You both won/one so that's why you score
Eleven out of ten
Time

[Round 2: Pat Stay]
Hi, how are you?
Fine afternoon
I bet you taste great, you drink pineapple juice?

[Rone]
Flirtatious
Every time we bat an eyelash at you
You smell like lilacs, you look like the Highlander too

[Pat Stay]
Handsome, cute, pretty yet somehow manly too
Channing who?
You give my grandmother panties soup

[Rone]
My grandma too!
My dead grandma used to masturbate to you
I know I said a lot of shit in the past
But my grandma's favorite is you!

[Pat Stay]
And his aunt and his uncle
And his daughter just loves you
Went to his father's for supper and he's like, "How's Marlo & Shuffle?"

[Rone]
The way my mom talks about him you thought they were a couple
My little cousin kicked fucking in the door and said how bad she wanted to fuck you

[Pat Stay]
I mean God, you're such a humble guy
You can fuck any girl here country wide 100 times

[Rone]
But have you seen his girlfriend?
[Pat] Ahh, yeah?
[Rone] She's fucking fine

[Pat Stay] But he doesn't even care about that, he loves her for what's inside! That's beautiful in itself
God, you got the cutest ears
Fuckin' adorable, I don't even know how you could here

[Rone]
You've been here for half an hour and you grew a beard but I've been workin' on this swaggly little mange of pubes for years
I would stop a Native American for hair like yours
Yeah, I mean it
Just let it flow in the wind, what do you need hair ties for?
It's just so luscious and fluid, how the fuck do you do it?
Just flaps in the wind like a flag I just wanna salute it

[Pat Stay]
Aye picture this, front porch, old school R&B while we hang on the stairs
Me sittin' right behind you in a wife beater braiding your hair
But I wouldn't want to tangle it
So smooth, they just run your fingers through it, it's like it ain't even there
It would look like a fuckin' soft serve ice cream on the hottest day of the year

[Rone]
Delicious
Remember when you guys had us over for those sleepovers?

[Pat Stay] Oh yeah

[Rone]
Yeah you do
Sleepovers at your house are never a let down
Their pillow game is insane
Let's just say that he gets down
(Kinda good. Kinda bad.)
We just fuckin'- push all the mattresses together, call that shit "Bed Town"
Then eat a bunch of ice cream until we all gain like ten pounds
Then light up a couple spliffs and fuckin' listen to fuckin' Pet Sounds
And the only thing higher than me is your sheet fuckin' thread count

[Pat Stay]
It's fuckin' true
I was there too
And when I dosed off to sleep
Woke up at 3:00 to him gently puttin' the blankets over my feet
No one's as sweet
Brought me a snack said, "Bon Appetit"
And started makin' ocean sounds in my ear and said, "Shhh. Go back to sleep."
And what else did we do? Huh?
When it comes to Twister, nobody can step to you
Human pretzel you just fold up like a vegetable, so flexible, "left foot blue"
Boom his body bends in two, head and shoes symmetrical, nowhere left to move, I'm damn near havin' sex wit' you
And I'm not movin' anywhere
It's goin' down, word dawg
You 'bout to lose, you goin' downward dog
Nah y'all didn't hear me, that's my boy
We're down, we're dawgs
Y'all didn't hear me that's my yoga partner that's my downward dawg

[Round 2: Shuffle T and Marlo]
[Shuffle T] Listen, you blow and suck bitches, bad
[Marlo] Wrong is it?
[Shuffle T] Don't you?
[Marlo] It's the other way around
[Shuffle T] I'll reverse that sentence man
[Marlo] You don't, it is wrong
[Both] Bad bitches suck and blow you
[Shuffle T] We wanted to show you our deepest gratitude Pat
[Marlo] He got us first class tickets
[Shuffle T] He didn't have to do that
[Marlo] They gave us extra leg room
[Shuffle T] We could relax and move back
[Marlo] More freedom on the plane
[Shuffle T] Then the cabin crew had
Then the plane went into a nosedive
[Marlo] They gave our parachute packs
[Shuffle T] Only enough for women and children
[Marlo] But the captain swooped back like
[Shuffle T] "You two know Pat Stay?"
[Marlo] And added to that
[Shuffle T] "Here's that four year old's landing gear
[Marlo] You lads can use that."
[Shuffle T] Then Rone and Pat met us at the airport like
[Marlo] "Hi guys, hope your flight was alright
I hope you're ready to have the time of your life."
[Shuffle T] Needless to say spirits were high in the sky
[Marlo] Our eyes were fright with delight
[Shuffle T] We went from flying our kites
[Marlo] Riding our bikes
[Shuffle T] Rone showed us what mountain climbing was like
[Marlo] It was the dopest day
[Both] Going great
[Marlo] Until we bumped into some thugs with a violent side
[Shuffle T] As you can imagine...we would die in a fight
[Marlo] So as soon as we smelt conflict we cried and we cried
[Shuffle T] We hoped that Pat would step in just in time to collide with these giants in size
[Marlo] But Rone put one hand on Pat's chest and denied him the fight
[Shuffle T] You walked up to the thugs, all nine of the guys
[Marlo] Whispered something in their ears almost silent as night
[Shuffle T] All of them simultaneously dropped their pipes and their knives, frightened and white
And all he said was...
[Marlo] "Roney Bay The Prince"
[Shuffle T] Five of them died
[Marlo] It's no wonder
Against Goodz you said, "They'll tune into Good Morning America to see America mourning Goodz
That was such a fuckin' killer bar, and exceptionally awesome look
When I heard that bar the first time I pitched a tent with my morning wood
Screaming [?] pounding my desk 'til the floorboards shook
[Shuffle T] And Rone, if you asked me to I would fly from Heathrow to babysit
Cause I respect what you do so much I fuckin' breath and I savor it
Our style and his style? You can see the relationship
You're not the reason we got into battling...you're the reason we stayed with it!
[Marlo] Yo, when it comes to genetics, they're the perfect type of strain
So sexy, they could be cast in the works of Michael Bay
I'm difficult to compliment
But I bet they get the words and find a way
Everything they do impresses me
That's the reverse Shania Twain
[Shuffle T] And Pat posted something up on Facebook in the days trailing up to this
Said if you couldn't afford the ticket today then take it up with him
Cause he'll cover the cost it takes to pay for comin' in
I suppose that's not the nicest thing I've ever heard
...Oh wait it fuckin' is!
[Marlo] Now, when Pat started sending those messages to me I started trembling with glee
Peed my pants, my knees and hands were definitely weak
At one point he accidentally called me "Shuffle", I'm Marlo so I corrected him at speed
But to be honest, since that moment I haven't been gettin' any sleep
You should never presume to be correcting a true legend when they speak
So Patrick, I'm sorry
And Adam I'm sorry
[Shuffle T] What?
[Marlo] You're Marlo now, represent the team
Cause I ain't questioning a G
If Pat Stay says I'm Shuffle T
[Shuffle T] Then you're Shuffle T!

{Someone throws a mackerel fish on stage at Shuffle's feet. Shuffle throw it back in the crowd. The air horn goes off}

[Marlo] Don DeMackerel!

[Shuffle T] Now look, this parts important, this bits important
I'm comfortable with my sexuality
Alright?
I mean, what?
Is it gay to duct tape another man in a fantasy where you role play a butt rape?
I mean honestly
Is it gay to say I'd fuck Stay?
[Marlo] Totally
[Shuffle T] Then I guess I've got a Facebook page to update
[Marlo] Titan of a penis
Kinda like a demon
Let's not lie about this either
I'd be the receiver
This motherfucker here would have me cryin' out to Jesus
Face down on the ground havin' all kind of violent seizures
Fuck you know about writtin' raps with no gay shit?
[Shuffle T] What?!
[Marlo] [?] go naked
[Shuffle T] Skkkkkrt
[Marlo] You're like a statue so go brace it
[Shuffle T] Gay!
[Marlo] Call him Michelangelo's David
[Shuffle T] And don't be fooled cause of his race
Cause that monster cock is huge
It's visible from space
That's common knowledge too
I recently got raped
But a rotten prostitute
Went home with tears all on my face
Because it wasn't you!
[Marlo] Rone, we'll go to the water park
I'll run up to the top of the slide
If it's not the longest queue then I'll be waitin' for you
Open armed at the bottom of the flume
And look, it'll be our fault this battle hasn't got a lot of views
But it will, cause you two are in it
And you two are winning
And a thumbnail on a YouTube clip using an image of you two will get more YouTubers clicking than those musical mixes
Using the trick of Googling pictures of beautiful women
In a wack ass attempt to be boosting their hits with
Such an equally measured teaming together
Neither is second best
Shaving these other fruits down to size, that's lemon zest
[Shuffle T] God's perfume is what they're fuckin' like, that's Heaven sent (scent)
They've got a heart of gold that's what I call a treasure chest
[Marlo] Pat gets a discount at every store of 110%
And Rone would still look more manly than me right now wearing a fucking wedding dress
[Shuffle T] They need to reach their peak so they can be their very best
And that mountain's summit to climb so they won't ever rest (Everest)
And if you're pissed cause you're thinkin' this battle is gay enough
Just know that we never gave a FUCK
[Marlo] No, no, no
We never gave a...
[Both] Making love
Time

[Round 3: Pat Stay & Rone]
[Rone] You're like a fuckin' wild flower man
It's beautiful
I could stare at you for five hours fam'
How cute are you?
[Pat Stay] Boop
[Rone] You see that shit?
Pat Stay just fuckin' "booped" at you
I wish there was a million of you, I'm kinda pissed there's only two of you
Fuckin'...I got a puppy last week
Cute little fact
Yeah, a fuckin' puppy, cute little fact
I took him to a farm, he nuzzled chicklets that were soon to be hatched
She sat in baskets
It was fantastic, they were beautiful fetched
There were pumpkins there, I teared up as he moved through the patch
He had never seen a butterfly before, he chased one right through to my lap
And I swear, you motherfuckers are even cuter than that
No word of this bullshit, you two are so talented
That you make me self conscious of my own skill
Rewriting all my verses, afraid that they won't kill
And I'm feeling like roadkill and you're sitting there so chill
But I know if I don't pick myself up than the two of you both will
Pat!
[Pat Stay] Oh
My bad, it's my turn, right?
I was just on my phone cancelling their return flights
[Rone] You're staying here forever!
[Pat Stay] Love at first sight, you fuck my girl right
I like a man with hairs like yours, muscles shift tight and a muddy dirt bike
Man of my dreams, tears in his Wrangler jeans
Hard workin' little country boy
Brad Pitt in Troy
Little fuck toy, bundle of joy
Scrumptious little-
[Rone] Okay, alright, alright, alright! He means well. Just tryin' to be nice
[Pat Stay] I'll fuck the shit outta ya. Straight up
[Rone] But do you even realize what you're doing?
Of course you're beasts within rap
But pushing a lifestyle of compliments? It's deeper than that
See with anonymous comments, the internet's a pretty scary place
Where we obscure our face but dare to compare our race
Little words bubble up, the product of buried hate
From strangers, but strangely, every thought still carries weight
And it would be much easier to act like we didn't care
But we get caught up as it spirals in the air
And it cycles to a cyclone leaving lives in disrepair
Then sending all of humanity down a spiral of despair
But then you come along...
All positive, jocular, and completely change the game
Start making comments popular
It's like you solved the calamity
It's like you fuckin'...we all become family
It's like by changing negative and positive, it's like you fuckin' charged up humanity
And when you think like that has more of a broad reach
When you think like that, shit gets more deep
You're pushin' support speech
A world that doesn't endorse creeps
Breaking hard exteriors and showing the world sweet
And fuckin', we've got floor seats to [?]
Because when you think like that it puts arms outta arms reach
There would be no more beef
We'd see all wars cease by you just being you, you will bring about world peace
Think about it! Think about it! Think about it!
[Pat Stay] Hey, you wanna fuck my sister, she's yours
You deserve it bro
She's fertile so you can cum inside her, I'll hide her birth control
She's a 13 year old virgin so just work it slow
I know what you're packin', I was next to you in the urinal
Thee biggest, 16 inches
Fucking delicious Seabiscuit, horse fuckin' cock, deep-
[Rone!] Okay! Okay! Jesus fuckin' Christ
If we were going to rank the teams on this stage, we're probably second
The way you guys spit it so well, I think I got an erection
It's fuckin', pretty awesome that we even get to talk to these legends
So just to show our gratitude, we got you some presents

[Round 3: Shuffle T & Marlo]
[Marlo] Man, you got me flush, my cheeks are rosy red
Motherfuckers bought me some sewing threads, c'mon
When Rone walks into the club, the bouncer gives him a girl
Dude literally wins at any task with a signature swirl
[Shuffle T] He walked up to a piano like, "Hmmph. Think I'll give tis a whirl
And what do you know? I'm the best at this in the world."
[Marlo] Internet sensation
We went viral on Facebook, fuckin' mad likes
You all see that Big T intervention
Every punch was such a black eye cause Rone's stuff was facts, Christ
It's called, "Hard Hitting Poet Deconstructs A Fat Guy"
None of that's right
They should've called it, "Handsome, Young Man Saves Another Man's Life"
[Shuffle T] You see, what most don't know
Is that in the next seven to nine weeks
Big T lost 75 kilos with the help of some chai tea and a medical IV
He no longer feels self conscious in incredibly tight jeans
He started up yoga and lessons in tai chi
He's skinnier than Marlo now, he's getting defined cheeks
And reentered the battling world as "Regular Sized T"
[ Marlo] I mean of course, you're next to the throne
I mean no one, no one is as sexy as Rone
[Shuffle T] Lookin' like Ashton Kutcher in The 70's Show
[Marlo] He'll run for office one day
President Rone and you are gettin' my vote
Shit, I'll get citizenship and an American home
[Shuffle T] I'll be there for you Rone if you're ever alone
Or can't cover your ass like a medical robe
[Marlo] But there's no chance of that cause he's always ready to go
List of accomplishments longer than an elephant's nose
[Shuffle T] And he's incredibly toned from his head to his toes
From his flesh to his bones
Cause he's exercised more times than Emily Rose, Kevin [?] or Sylvester Stallone
[Marlo] You can't stop this guy when he gets in the zone
[Shuffle T] If you're his enemy than it's end of the road!
[Marlo] He's the last white great American hope
[Shuffle T] Blood Diamond {laughs}
Sorry, Diamond in in the rough, like Sierra Leone
And did I mention he's toned?
[Marlo] Yes you did bro
You said that shit about Emily Rose
[Shuffle T] Oh yeah of course, I'm sorry I'm forgetful you know
[Marlo] It's okay, I understand I mean in the presence of Rone
Sometimes makes my memory go and I can't remember my flow
Which of course d-d-d
...Where the fuck am I?
[Both] Does anyone know?
[Shuffle T] You probably overthrew the emperor of Rome
[Marlo] Be that one guy to actually have sex with the pope
[Shuffle T] Saying you've got a good, but I'm bettin' you don't
[Marlo] Sliced bread is the motherfuckin' best thing since Rone!
And now that we're done with you...Patrick
Just know...I am...your disciple
[Shuffle T] Any of you guys read his autobiography?
It's called, The Bible
I mean Pat, what more is there to say?
I mean you're...you're dope
[Marlo] No, no, no you're GOAT
[Shuffle T] No, no, no you're
[Both] Hope
[Marlo] Pat tried to lose a battle once and accidently won
[Shuffle T] 4-0
[Marlo] Do you even realize how highly these people think of you?
[Shuffle T] Do you even know the nickname for you?
[Marlo] "Jesus 2"
[Shuffle T] But even the atheists believe in you
[Marlo] He knows shapeshifting
Space twisting
Telekinesis too
[Shuffle T] The leader, the teacher, the chief, the dude
[Marlo] He could turn an Avion into a sweet vermouth
[Shuffle T] Dinosaurs were extinct because they didn't agree with you
[Marlo] You walk down the street and people scream for you like the 60's fans of The Beetles do
[Shuffle T] You got homeless guys tryin' to feed you food
[Marlo] Toddlers jumping out they [?] tryin' to clean your shoes
[Shuffle T] If Magic Valley's packed, then people move so you beat the queues
[Marlo] You're all up at 2:00AM when the park is closed
And the manager runs down in his bathroom robe
He doesn't care if he's double parked and the car's been towed
Just passes over the keys to you
[Shuffle T] When you go to see your hometown play hockey
The referee upon seeing you calls over the managers to agree a truce
And order the visiting team to lose
[Marlo] The mafia takes the heat for you
[Shuffle T] God has wet dreams of you
[Marlo] Pregnant women on the bus give up their motherfuckin' seats for you
[Shuffle T] Intersecting traffic parts like the Red Sea for you
Without needs to because the light already went green for you
[Marlo] All the ladies to ever sleep with you say they enjoyed the Stay like you're a retreat review
[Shuffle T] Cause it's a real treat with you
[Marlo] See Pat, it's time that you finally see the truth
You're the fucking moon walking definition of "extremely smooth"
[Shuffle T] Every piece of you
[Marlo] Every gene of you
[Shuffle T] Every fiber of your being is just screaming "smooth"
[Marlo] There is literally no more perfecting what you need to do
[Shuffle T] Immaculately conceived from the seed of Zeus
[Marlo] You are a profound stepping stone to completing human evolution, we mean it dude
[Both] We really really mean it dude!
[Shuffle T] Which means there's literally no wrong that he could do
[Marlo] You could drop an N bomb at an Obama press conference and he'd fist bump you in the meeting room
[Shuffle T] They could feature you in a Bieber tune and it wouldn't even cheapen you
[Marlo] You could be, a piece of poop
And we'd all still believe in you
In fact, you know what?
That's the thing about both these guys
They got something we all like
[Shuffle T] Until we're 104 and done with this sport
You'll have our love and support guys
[Marlo] And after this battle, let's share a couple of Coor's Lights
[Shuffle T] What we're tryin' to say is
[Both] These buckos are alright