Stephen Flaherty & Lynn Aherns
Learn to Do It
[ANYA, spoken]
How do you become the person you've forgotten you ever were?

[VLADIMIR, spoken]
Take a deep breath. Close your eyes, and imagine another time, another world

(sung)
You were born in a palace by the sea

[DIMITRY]
A palace by the sea

[ANYA]
Could it be?

[VLADIMIR]
Yes, it's so
You rode horseback when you were only three

[ANYA, spoken]
Horseback riding? Me?

[DIMITRY]
Horse's name?

[VLADIMIR]
Romeo
You threw tantrums and terrorized the cook!
Ha! How the palace shook!
[DIMITRY, spoken]
Charming child

[VLADIMIR]
Wrote the book
But you'd behave when you father gave that look

[DIMITRY]
Imagine how it was
Your long forgotten past

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
We've lots and lots to teach you and the time is going fast

[VLADIMIR, spoken]
Let's see you walk. Head up! Regal bearing!

(sung)
Now, shoulders back and stand up tall
And do not walk, but try to float

[ANYA]
I feel a little foolish
Am I floating?

[DIMITRY]
Like a sinking boat!
[VLADIMIR]
You give a bow

[ANYA]
What happens now?

[VLADIMIR]
Your hand receives a kiss!

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
Most of all remember this:

[VLADIMIR]
If I can learn to do it
You can learn to do it

[DIMITRY]
Something in you knows it

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
There's nothing to it!

[VLADIMIR]
Follow in my footsteps
Shoe by shoe!
[VLADIMIR & DMITRY]
You can learn to do it too!

[DIMITRY]
Now, elbows in and sit up straight
And do not slurp the stroganoff!

[ANYA, spoken]
I never cared for stroganoff!

[VLADIMIR]
She said that like a Romanov!

[DIMITRY]
The Samovar

[VLADIMIR]
The caviar

[ANYA]
Dessert and then goodnight?

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
Not until you get this right!

[VLADIMIR]
If I can learn to do it

[DIMITRY]
If he can learn to do it

[VLADIMIR]
You can learn to do it!

[DIMITRY]
You can learn to do it

[VLADIMIR]
Pull yourself together

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
And you'll pull through it!

[VLADIMIR]
Tell yourself it's easy

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
And it's true!
You can learn to do it, too!

[VLADIMIR, spoken]
Who is your great-grandmother?

[ANYA, spoken]
Queen Victoria

[VLADIMIR, spoken]
Great-great grandmother?

[ANYA, spoken]
Uh--- Princess Victoria of Saxe-Colburg-Saalfeld

[VLADIMIR, spoken]
Your best friend is?

[ANYA, spoken]
My little brother, Alexei

[DIMITRY, spoken]
Wrong! Your best friend?

[ANYA, spoken]
I know who my best friend is!

[DIMITRY, spoken]
What a temper!

[ANYA, spoken]
I don't like being contradicted!

[DIMITRY, spoken]
That makes two of us!

[VLADIMIR, spoken]
Continuing on...

[ANYA]
I've had it, and I hate you both
I'm sorry that we ever met
I'm hungry, I'm frightened
And I'm only human, don't forget!
I don't remember anything
Get out and let me be!

[VLADIMIR]
Anya, darling, look at me
We're all frightened
Well, slightly, now and then
Shall we start again?
Take a breath, count to ten
You have courage
And strength you barely know
So blow that little nose
And dry those pretty eyes
A princess like your majesty
Can do this if she tries!
Ready?

[DIMITRY, spoken]
Set

[ANYA, spoken]
Go!

[VLADIMIR]
Now here's your great Aunt Olga

[DIMITRY]
How she frolicked on the Volga

[ANYA, spoken]
Oh!

[VLADIMIR]
Your distant cousin Vanya loved his vodka

[DIMITRY]
Got it, Anya?

[ANYA]
No!

[VLADIMIR]
The Duke of Oldenburgh was short!

[DIMITRY]
Louise of Boden

[ANYA]
Had a--

[DIMITRY]
Wart!

[VLADIMIR]
Count Sergei

[DIMITRY]
Wore a feathered hat

[VLADIMIR]
I hear he's gotten very fat

[ANYA]
And I recall his yellow cat!

[VLADIMIR, spoken]
I don't believe we told her that...

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
If you can learn to do it

[ANYA]
I can learn to do it!

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
He can learn to do it

[ANYA]
You can learn to do it!

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
Pull yourself together

[ANYA, VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
And we'll pull through it!

[VLADIMIR]
Tell yourself it's easy

[ANYA, VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
And it's true

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
You can learn to do it

[ANYA]
Nothing to it!

[ANYA, VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
You can learn to do it...

[ANYA, spoken]
The caviar, the stroganoff, the Samovar, the feathered hat, the cousin drank, the duke was short, here a wart and there a cat. The horse's name was Romeo, so tell me something new

[VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
Ha!

[ANYA, VLADIMIR & DIMITRY]
You can learn to do it, too!