[Verse 1]
You've been counting all the days off
Of your calendar for weeks now
You can't wait for Saturday 'cause
That's the night that it all goes down
From 7:45 to 7:48 PM in particular
'Cause that is when I will give you what you need

[Chorus]
Three minutes of ecstasy, several nights a month
You just tell me, baby, if that is too much
When my stuff is in your stuff, our souls become entwined
For a hundred and eighty seconds, my sex has blown your mind

[Interlude]
Oh my god, you're so welcome

[Verse 2]
Go ahead and call all your girlfriends
And give them the details of how it went down (Uhh!)
I know you can't wait to brag to all of them
About how I took your ass to Wangtown
I'll get my captain's hat, put on my floaties
And we'll set sail for sexy seas for, at least

[Chorus]
Three minutes of ecstasy, any more and this house would burn
That's why I don't last longer, your safety is my main concern
If you haven't finished, well, baby, that's just fine
You know that I'm here for you, oh shit, look at the time
[Interlude]
I have to go to the pudding store
For, uh, for pudding. Adieu

[Bridge]
One one thousand, two one thousand
Three one thousand, four one thousand
Five one thousand, six one thousand
Seven one thousand, eight one thousand
Nine one thousand, ten one thousand
Eleven one thousand, twelve one thousand
Thirteen one thousand, fourteen one thousand
Fifteen one thousand, sixteen one thousand

[Interlude]
Maybe it's starting to sink in
Just how long three minutes really is
Let's skip to the end
A hundred and seventy-nine one thousand
A hundred and eighty one thousand--
HU-AAAH!!! (*Snore*) GAH!

[Chorus]
Three minutes of ecstasy, several nights a month
But not more than four times a month, that would be ridiculous
I'm sure I left you happy, but in case that's not enough
Here's a copy of my headshot and a drawing of my nuts (Ah-ha-ha)
[Outro]
A drawing of my nuts (Ah-ha-ha)
A drawing of my nuts (Ah-ha-ha)
A drawing of my nuts (Ah-ha-ha, ah-ha-ha, ah-ha-ha)