[Intro]
"Hey Marklemore, can we go pet shopping?"
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Woof, woof, woof, woof
Meow, meow, meow, meow
Meowmeowmeow, meow
Meow, meow, meow, meow
Meowmeowmeow, meow

[Chorus]
I'm gonna pet some cats
And I got Snausages in my pocket
Lookin' for llama
Or maybe an iguana
This is a nice possum

[Verse 1]
Now
Walk into the store, I'm like, "What up, I need a peacock!"
Say "Yo Adrian" to the cashier at the pet shop
Up in the front there's a newborn husky
The people like, "Damn, that's a cute ass puppy"
The managers annoyed with me, accuses me of loitering
"Sir, you have to buy something", I just won the lottery
Now I will fulfill my dream of a snake shopping spree
But can I get a guarantee that they won't strangle me?
(Hissssss) Shit, I'll just keep them in the bathroom
I'll take a basket of ten cats and a casket for dead rats
And a case of wee wee pads
Cus I hate pickin' up scat
A Cesar Millan backpack
For my Rhodesian Ridgeback
Where can I buy some diet mice?
So my snakes don't get too fat
I'ma take your Basset Hound, I'ma take your Chow Chows
For real, I'll emancipate these furry bitches now
I'll take some nasty-ass salmon treats for my ten kittens
And since it's winter lemmie get 40 small mittens
They had a neutered Beagle, I bought a neutered Beagle
He's got an empty sack but he keeps on humpin' people
My room was a pigsty, now it's a zoo
I can't walk through without steppin' on some Shitzu
I just bought blind dog, he might be deaf too
The puppyheads will be like, "Aww, is he a rescue?"
[Interlude]
Yeah
Well he's hella cute
Hella so are you, do you live around here?
Pet store, pettin' cats
Get outta here, kid

[Chorus]
I'm gonna hoard some cats
Got about 25 in my apartment
Just like an awful
Depressing commercial
With Sarah McLaughlin

[Bridge]
This dog is old as shit
He's got a plastic hip
I taught him three new tricks
Stay right there, play dead, and sit
I'm Dr. Doolittle
My place is full of bull
This shark is really cool
Can I store him in your pool?

[Chorus]
I better sell some pets
They don't pay rent for this apartment
They just sit around
Lookin' for a hand out
For this I blame Obama
[Outro]
"Is that your grandma's coat?"
OK, whose kid is this?