[Verse 1]
I recorded this song while getting a massage
I spent the past several months hiding in my Gaga-rage
Since I've been gone, others have tried to claim the Gaga crown
When Miley tries to be me, she looks like a slutty clown

[Pre-Chorus]
Now let's try on some bras with claws and balls
I'm digging through my closet, tryin' to find an outfit
Cus I can't decide what to wear for this video
Gaga LaCage aux folles, montage

[Chorus: Mark Douglas as Tim Gunn]
What if I dressed up like a bug? (That's not your best look)
Or stand naked behind Doug? (I have to go to work)
There's nothing covering my butt (that's not a new thing)
Maybe I should call up Tim Gunn? (What are you doing?)

[Post-Chorus: Mark Douglas as Tim Gunn]
D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E (Is this a spelling bee?)
That skirt's not making it work, don't twerk
R-S-T-L-N-E (Quit playing Scrabble, please)
You'll get no more help from Tim Gunn. I'm done

[Verse 2]
Sometimes my lyrics are unintelligible (what?)
Because I put emphasis
On wrong syllable (ooooh)
I like to read Dean Koontz and Dean Koontz likes to read to me
(You shouldn't be bragging), (he's not that good)
I was once full of shit now, I think shit is full of me
[Pre-Chorus]
Check out my pixel bra, bra, bra, bra, bra
Hotter than menopause-pause
Give me Gaga-plause-plause-plause
Hey, everybody stop and dancing and cheer for me
Cus I'm your boss, ba-boss, ba-boss
Do it!

[Chorus]
This is song is better than Roar (that song is so dumb)
Katy Perry freaking sucks (she had work done)
Here comes a spoiler alert, I am Ga-God
Watch the church get all butthurt
And I'm Gaga-Claus

[Outro]
P-E-R-E-Z- I-F- U-R- R-E-A-D-I-N-G
T-H-I-S- I- H-A-T-E- Y-O-U-R- A-S-S- F-A-C-E
Triple word score, I won