Marc Shaiman and Scott Wittman
Don’t Break the Rules
[BRANTON, spoken]
Hanratty, were you always like this?

[HANRATTY, spoken]
I think I was born this way
Other kids wanted to play cops and robbers
I only wanted to play cops

(singing)
It starts very early- Once the baby toys are gone
A kid on the playground has to choose what side he's on
It's the bullies or the good guys, boy there ain't no middle ground
Though hoodlums try to blur the line and twist the truth around
Then they call themselves a winner but they're self deceiving fools
Cause the game ain't worth winning if you're breakin' all the rules

The law is laid upon us when as kids we first ask "why?"
Our parents set the rules when, "cause I said so" they reply
And though I thought I hated them and screamed with all my might
The next time that I had a choice, gee whiz, I did what's right
No, I never snuck a drink
I never stole a pack of "Kools"
Cause the game ain't worth winning if you're breakin' all the rules

[AGENTS]
Don't break the rules!
[HANRATTY]
Or else we're livin in the wild, wild west!

[AGENTS]
Don't break the rules!

[HANRATTY]
God's keeping score, you don't want to fail that test!

[AGENTS]
Don't break the rules!

[HANRATTY]
You thumb your nose right at the life for which I strive

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
But those rules, those laws, keep us alive!

[HANRATTY & (AGENTS)]
Well it started back with Moses when he led around the Jews (The Jews)
And climbed way up that mountain to pick up Gods daily news (Tell me the news)
He schlepped up old Mt. Sinai, cried and begged on their behalf (Oh Lord)
He almost dropped those tablets when he saw that golden calf (What)
Now we teach the Ten Commandments...

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
Every Sunday in our schools
[HANRATTY]
Cause the game ain't worth winning if you're breaking all the rules

[AGENTS]
And baby I guess...

[HANRATTY]
I guess the Constitution boys, to some is too complex

[AGENTS]
We're thinking they think...

[HANRATTY]
They think our founding fathers fought so they could forge some checks

[AGENTS]
And now it's looking they see themselves...

[HANRATTY]
They see themselves as Robin Hood; stealing from the rich

[AGENTS]
But don't you know they're not paying back...

[HANRATTY]
Not paying back the things they take
Well payback is a bitch
[AGENTS]
Pow!

[HANRATTY]
Cause the world ain't Sherwood Forest

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
You can't give away those jewels

[HANRATTY]
And the game ain't worth winning if you're breaking all the rules

[AGENTS]
Don't break the rules!

[HANRATTY]
Or else we're livin' in the wild, wild west!

[AGENTS]
Don't break the rules!

[HANRATTY]
God's keeping score, you don't want to fail that test!

[AGENTS]
Don't break the rules!

[HANRATTY]
You thumb your nose right at the life for which I strive!

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
But those rules, those laws, keep us alive!

[AGENTS]
US ALIVE!!!!!

[HANRATTY]
When you steal somebody's money
Screw his daughter or his wife

[AGENTS]
Bop

[HANRATTY]
You don't think of repercussions
As you tap dance through your life

[AGENTS]
Bop

[HANRATTY]
Though you smile like you're a hero

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
You're an outlaw through and through

[HANRATTY]
But the odds are in my favor man...

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
And one day I'll catch you!
So go sneak

[HANRATTY & (AGENTS)]
Into a movie
Run a red light, sell some pot (Doo-wop, doo-wop)
It's all the same to me
You're either guilty or you're not (Doo-wop, doo-wop wow)
If we all did what we wanted
Every time we felt the urge

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
The world would be in total chaos!!!

[HANRATTY]
It's already on the verge

[AGENTS]
Bop

[HANRATTY]
Yes its laws that keep us human...

[AGENTS]
Cause without them we're just mules

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
And the game ain't worth winning...

[HANRATTY]
Yes

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
The game ain't worth winning...

[HANRATTY]
No!

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
The game ain't worth winning...

[HANRATTY]
If you're breaking all the rules

[AGENTS]
Don't break the rules!

[HANRATTY]
Or else we're living in the wild, wild west

[AGENTS]
Don't break the rules!

[HANRATTY]
God's keeping score, you don't want to fail that test!

[AGENTS]
Don't break the rules!

[HANRATTY]
You thumb your nose right at the life for which I strive!

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
But those rules, those laws...

[HANRATTY, spoken]
Whatcha say?

[AGENTS]
Those rules, those laws...

[HANRATTY, spoken]
Again boys!

[AGENTS]
Those rules, those laws

[HANRATTY & AGENTS]
Keep us alive!