[PERCY]
Wow, maybe your mom should've totally chilled
Instead of making monsters that get us all killed!
[ANNABETH]
Well, maybe your dad should've picked a better place
All he did was diss her with disgrace
[GROVER]
Guys, calm it down
With all life's stresses
It ain't worth cleaning up your parents' messes
Now ask me where we are, I'll give you three guesses!
(spoken)
Ask me!
[PERCY & ANNABETH]
Where are we?
[GROVER]
(sung)
We're in the same bo-o-oat
In the very same bo-o-oat
[PERCY & ANNABETH]
I'd like to wrap my hands around that half-blood's throat!
[ANNABETH]
Don't need to heed a talking goat!
[GROVER]
The same bo-o-o-o-o-oat
We're in the same boat!
(spoken)
And look what I found at Medusa's place!
[PERCY]
Three Amtrak tickets?
[GROVER]
Why run from monsters when we can ride?
(sung)
We're in the same tra-a-ain
In the very same tra-a-ain
[PERCY]
With Anna-blegh!
[ANNABETH]
And Seaweed Brain!
[PERCY]
You're so high-strung
[ANNABETH]
Well, you're insane!
[GROVER]
The same tra-a-a-a-ain
We're in the same train!
[CONDUCTOR]
(spoken)
Last stop, Denver, Colorado!
[PERCY]
Wow, check out those rocky mountains!
[ANNABETH]
You mean the Rocky Mountains?
[GROVER]
That is so beautiful. I need a veggie burger!
[ARES]
Did someone say 'veggie burger?'
[GROVER]
Sweet!
[ANNABETH]
Wait, does anyone else find this suspicious?
[ARES]
Roll with it. It's not every day you get a veggie burger from a god. Ares, god of war! Maybe you've met my daughter, Clarisse? Woah, woah, woah, relax, I come in peace! I hear you runts are headed to Hades, but you'll never make it on public transportation. I can take you as far as Vegas. Y'all cool with motorcycles, right?
[PERCY & GROVER]
Sweet!
[ANNABETH]
Wait!
[PERCY, ANNABETH & GROVER]
(sung)
We're on the same bi-i-ike!
On the very same bi-i-ike!
[ANNABETH]
There's lots about this that I don't like!
Can we trust this guy?
[PERCY]
You could always hike!
[ALL THREE]
The same bi-i-i-i-ike
We're on the same bike!
[ARES]
(spoken)
Vegas, baby! Forgettin' somethin'? This is where I get off
[GROVER]
That guy is so cool!
[ANNABETH]
Okay, gang, we need a place to spend the night
[PERCY]
Uh, how 'bout here? The Lotus Hotel
[ANNABETH]
You're joking, right? In the Odyssey, if you went to sleep in a lotus bed, one night could last a hundred years!
[PERCY]
Well, I'm sure that's irrelevant. Uh, excuse me, miss, how long have you been at this hotel?
[BIANCA DI ANGELO]
Why, my brother and I arrived just yesterday, May 1st, 1939!
[PERCY & GROVER]
Ahh!
[ANNABETH]
Taxi!
[GROVER]
(sung)
Bada badada ba ba badada
Bada badada ba ba badada
[GROVER & PERCY]
Bada badada ba ba badada
Bada badada ba ba badada
(continues through next verse)
[ANNABETH]
Athena, give me strength so I don't kill him!
Mother, guide with your wisdom, lend me some sense
I defend you, but I only tend to will him
To get more and more defensive
Terse and tense!
Mother? Figures...
[PERCY]
(spoken)
Los Angeles!
[ANNABETH]
(sung)
It's strange
Sometimes I think I'm dreaming
It's messed up, but he's kinda cute
When he's angry and all screamy
He's so weird
But a good weird
Our parents' paths are pushing us apart
And my head is always stronger than my heart
If only he would say something that was remotely smart!
[PERCY]
(spoken)
I got it. The map was upside down
[ANNABETH]
Ugh!
[PERCY]
Here we are, DOA Records
[GROVER]
I kinda figured there'd be monsters
[PERCY]
Yeah, uh, who knew that the lobby to the Underworld would be so...
[ANNABETH]
Dead?
[CHARON]
Going down? No sobs, no screaming, and no getting seasick!
[PERCY]
How do you get seasick in an elevator? Boat!
[ANNABETH]
(sung)
The way to the Underworld is over the Styx
It's a river
[PERCY]
I know, you showoff
Chicks
[ANNABETH]
Sexist, much?
Go make a splash
[PERCY]
I'll splash you
[GROVER]
It's like watching titans clash
They'll kill each other, or they'll kiss
If we're lucky, they'll end up in an abyss
[CHARON]
I've seen some messed up stuff
But nothing quite like this
[ANNABETH]
(spoken)
If you'd just listen
[PERCY]
If you'd stop criticizing me!
(PERCY & ANNABETH continue arguing)
[GROVER]
(sung)
We're in the same bo-o-oat
In the literal bo-o-oat
I'm trying to stay afloat above the lava moat
Have you even heard a word coming from my throat?
The same bo-o-woah, woah, woah!
We're in the same...
[ALL THREE]
AHH!!!
[ANNABETH]
(spoken)
Did we just... almost die?
[PERCY]
I feel something strange
[CHARON]
Is it.. seasickness?
[PERCY]
Perspective. That stuff with our parents, it's ancient history
[ANNABETH]
And who says history has to repeat itself?
[GROVER]
Say it! Say it! You know you wanna say it! Just say it already!
[PERCY & ANNABETH]
(sung)
We're in the same bo-o-oat
[GROVER]
(spoken)
Yes! Weird guy!
[CHARON]
(sung)
In the very same bo-wo-woat
[GROVER]
(spoken)
Everybody now!
[ALL]
(sung)
We're in the same...
[GROVER]
Baa!
[ALL]
Boat!
