The Longest Johns
Scrooge
[Intro]
When a cold wind blows, it chills you
Chills you to the bone
But there's nothing in nature
That freezes your heart
Like years of being alone

It paints you with indifference
Like a lady paints with rouge
And the worst of the worst
The most hated and cursed
Is the one that we call Scrooge

Unkind as any
And the wrath of many
This is Ebenezer Scrooge

[Verse 1]
Oh, there goes Mr. Humbug
There goes Mr. Grim
If they gave a prize for being mean
Thе winner would be him

Old Scrooge hе loves his money
'Cause he thinks it gives him power
If he became a flavour
You can bet he would be sour
[Verse 2]
There goes Mr. Skinflint
There goes Mr. Greed
The undisputed master
Of the underhanded deed

He charges folks a fortune
For his dark and drafty houses
Us poor folk live in misery
It's even worse for mouses

[Bridge]
He must be so lonely, he must be so sad
He goes to extremes to convince us he's bad
He's really of victim of fear and of pride
Look close and there must be a sweet man inside
Nah!

[Verse 3]
There goes Mr. Outrage
There goes Mr. Sneer
He has no time for friends or fun
His anger makes that clear

Don't ask him for a favour
'Cause his nastiness increases
No crust of bread for those in need
No cheeses for us meeses
[Verse 4]
There goes Mr. Heartless
There goes Mr. Cruel
He never gives, he only takes
He lets this hunger rule

If being mean's a way of life
You practice and rehearse
Then all this work is paying off
'Cause Scrooge is getting worse

Every day in every way
Scrooge is getting worse

Humbug!