Blixemi
Squirrelflight vs Bramblestar
SQUIRRELFLIGHT
Hey Brambleclaw…!
You’ve got to be kidding me
You didn’t clean out our moss?
Now that’s the third time this week

BRAMBLESTAR
I’ve been a little busy hun
I’ve got a clan to lead!
Besides, today’s your turn! At least...
That’s what we agreed?

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
It’s always my turn!
Apart from when it really counts
Such as last night’s Gathering
You told me to shut my mouth?

BRAMBLESTAR
Now that’s an exaggeration
You were speaking out of turn
There are some Clan matters
That are just not your concern

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
Of course they’re my concern!
I’m your goddamn deputy
And there you go again
You just never take mе seriously!
BRAMBLESTAR
If I didn’t take you seriously
I wouldn’t havе made you deputy
Even though you’re next in line
You can’t go and step all over me!

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
Like I owe it all to you!
I don’t need to take your charity!
I saved your scrappy ass
A hundred times on that journey

BRAMBLESTAR
Well I didn’t have a choice
Seeing as you refused to leave
All you did was bitch and whine and cry
And threaten to spill the beans

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
You’re a damn mouse-brain if you
Thought you could up and leave
With just you, Lil’ Crowy
Feathertail and Tawny
Oh pleeeease. Take a leap
You’re like a paranoid queen!
You’da made it halfway, and
Turned around without me!
BRAMBLESTAR
Uh—

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
Just you wait, I’m so
Far from being finished!
Now listen, stop your bitchin’
And take note of what I’m spittin’
You’re demanding, condescendin’
Not the least bit understandin’!
And you wanna know the truth?
I have no clue what I saw in you!

BRAMBLESTAR
Whoa, whoa there…
What’s this even about?

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
Your absence from my life?
Just thought I’d point it out

BRAMBLESTAR
What do you mean?

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
Your Clan is important, sure…
But what about me?
Those aren’t things that you
Should have choose between!
BRAMBLESTAR
It’s not about choosing, I’m just trying to find the time
I can’t be everywhere at once, that’s why you’re by my side

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
Speaking of sides have you chosen one yet?
You could always find the time for Daddy…
Or did you forget?

BRAMBLESTAR
Alright ENOUGH
You can’t seem to let that go!
I was young and naive but
I can say that I’ve grown!
Unlike someone here, who
Still acts like an apprentice
Your saltiness and jealous
Streak is completely horrendous

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
EX-CUSE ME
Do you know who you’re talking to?
Your friend, your mate—have you
Forgotten all we’ve been through?
Ever since day one it’s
Only been you and me!
And not to mention buddy!-
I’m the mother of your babies

BRAMBLESTAR
There it is! Squirrelflight dropped the bomb!
How many cats in this Clan get to call you their mom?!

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
*offended gasp*
BRAMBLESTAR
Any secrets I should know about?
Or more that you’ve just let out?
If it’s lying you prefer
I can always go ahead and ask Ashfur

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
And I’ll ask Jessy!

BRAMBLESTAR
No, ask your sis about the Three!
Since you wanna keep the truth from me!

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
Wow, you should know a lot on trusting your sibling
After all it’s my dad your brother planned on killing

BRAMBLESTAR
And what did I do? I went ahead and I took care of it
You had the guts to break our trust and frankly?
You’re a hypocrite!
First you say you love me
Then I see you getting cozy
With a straight up psychopath
Who almost killed our family!

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
I’ll have you know—

BRAMBLESTAR
No, it’s my turn to cut you off
You think you’re so tough
But you make me sicker
Than a bout of greencough
I gave you everything I had in me
And all I ever wanted was to hear an apology

SQUIRRELFLIGHT
Brambleclaw...
I'm so sorry

BRAMBLESTAR
I'm sorry too
But let's just agree that Leafpool is the cause of like, 90% of our problems

SQUIRRELFLIGHT AND BRAMBLESTAR
*complaining about Leafpool*

LEAFPOOL
Um, WHAT THE FU -