[Manila]
Wow, the show is already sold out! These poor people must be starving for real talent. They ate up those tickets just like Ginger Minj at a pie eating contest

[Jiggly Caliente]
Hey, that's body shaming and it's ugly

[Manila]
You're right I'm sorry

[Jiggly Caliente]
Almost as ugly as your back rolls and cankles

[Manila]
Well at least I know how to do my makeup. What colour clown-dation is that, bozo?

[Jiggly Caliente]
If I were you, I'd be more concerned with that cunt-ture on your face. Have you been working part time as a chimney sweep?

[Alaska]
Girls. Girls! Stop arguing. We have a sold out show to do and I don't know if you've noticed but we aren't doing it in some sophisticated big city. We're in a Make America Great Again, get off my property or I'll shoot you in the face, I ain't making some same-sex wedding cake town USA!

[Katya]
What are you trying to say?

[Alaska]
If this show isn't amazing, we're screwed! And not in a good way
[Katya]
She's right. We need to slay!

[Manila]
And give them life

[Jiggly Caliente]
And all the feels

[Katya]
Werk

[Jiggly Caliente]
Serving shade, hunty!

[Alaska]
The library is open!

[All]
Yaaaas!

[Alaska]
No, seriously, the public library is open. It's where we're doing the show! And we just wasted so much time squawking out catty catchphrases and sassy soundbites that it's...

[All]
Yeeees?
[Alaska]
Showtime!

[Announcer]
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the first annual drag queens from the big city on a broken down old bus with a screwed up transmission holiday show. Hold on to your hats and any cash, jewellery or any good looking men in your family because these ladies are going to steal your hearts and anything else that ain't nailed down. Now, welcome our first performer - Phi Phi O'Hara!