[Spoken intro: Louise & Gene]
Hello! This year was a banner year for us Belcher kids
We did so many nice things! Too many to list! So we're going to sing them to you! Take it away, Gene, my brother!
I did a bunch of nice things this year, but one, in particular, comes to mind

[Verse 1: Gene]
Taco Tuesday was the day at school
A day that always makes me drool
But when only one taco was left
I said "Rudy, friend, you take the rest"
But the only thing left to eat
Was nuggets from the deep, deep freeze

[Verse 2: Gene & Linda]
And then those reheated evil nuggets got mad and turned into an angry tornado! Oooh!
I made those nugget costumes. I made 'em a few hours ago, no big deal
So I did what I had to do to save the world

[Chorus: Gene]
I ate the nuggets
I ate the evil nuggets, yeah!
I ate the nuggets
The evil, evil nuggets, yeah!

[Spoken: Gene]
So that's something nice I did. And now I'm gonna hand it off to my handsome sister, Tina!
[Verse 3: Tina & Louise]
I kissed my family on all of their cheeks
Then I took a little walk along the beach
A horseshoe crab was on its back
Nearly having a heart attack
I didn't kick it I gently nudged it back into the sea
I didn't kick it, it had all the right number of legs when I left it, yeah

The end
Ahem!
Oh, right

[Verse 5: Tina]
And then I took it home and fed it, then took care of it, and then it went to college and now it's a celebrity chef with all its legs, goodnight

[Spoken: Bob, Linda, Tina & Louise]
B: Lin, this is not going very—
L:Breathtaking! It's just breathtaking!
B: Yup. Right. Yeah. That's what I was about to say
T: And now enjoy the stylings of my super-nice sister, Louise
Lou: Nice job, Tina! I think he bought it!
T: I'm just glad it's over. I feel dirty
Lou: That's the spirit!
T Thank you. Oh

[Verse 6: Louise]
I did so many nice things I can barely count 'em
I regrew the rain forest, and lost puppies I found 'em
I gave blankets to cold kids and ice cream to warm kids
Shoes to the shoeless, hair to the hairless
But the nicest thing I did all year...
Uh, nicest thing I did... I... The nicest thing... I did... I... I... I...

I can't do this

[Spoken Outro: Teddy]
What? What are we doin'? Do I still spin around? What do I do?! Oy gevalt