I shoulda used a rubber, before I went up in it
And then ya monkey ass won't be sittin in a clinic
Ayyo, one hot summer night after ballin hard
I went to the phone booth with my callin card
And called up Joel, yeah you know L
I told her come to the crib, yo mother f*ck a hotel
She said she was gonna come at ten
The b*tch came, but one problem, she brought a friend
You know I'm not a rude brother yo
But I let Joel in and slammed the door on that other ho
So we was sittin in the livin room kickin it
And all I thought about was stickin it
She was mean, cause you know I wouldn't f*ck wit a sleazy ho
Yo we was coolin, watching some TV show
I was crackin sex jokes, tryin to get the puss'
And this b*tch was kickin scripts beatin round the bush
Talkin bout rhyme for me L man f*ck rhyming
Cause my di*k, is hard enough to cut diamonds
I said, "I hope you ain't tryin to di*k tease
Ayyo, cause Big L's quick to tell a b*tch leave."
Ayyo my game started f*ckin wit her head soon
Next thing ya know we went straight to the bedroom
I knocked the boots from New York to Santa Fe
And that b*tch burnt me like a gamma ray
I caught a cab, on 139 & Lenox
Ayyo, I took it to the neighborhood clinic
Because she gave me gonorrhea
Yo, I'mma kill that b*tch, the next time that I see her
Chorus (Repeat 2x)
One afternoon I was cruising on the Westside
Bumpin my system, lounging back in a fresh ride
Hoes be hotter than a sauna
So I put the system on max, and bumped my sh*t on the corner
I saw this girl walkin by who was hype as hell
She was mad point-blank, she was right for L
But she tried to play me like a statue black
I said, "Sweeheart whats your name?"
"I gotta man," "I ain't ask you that."
She said in order to be with me you gotta be rich
You won't be able to switch, I said, "f*ck you b*tch."
Another girl walked by, I called her
"Excuse me what's your name" "Lorraine, what's yours"
Ayyo, game I kicked well
I said honey my names Lamont, but I'm known as Big L
I was looking smooth with the jewelry
She said, "L's for Lamont, but what's the Big for?" "You'll see."
Ayyo, my pockets was extra thick
"So what you doin later, oh nothing, then lets catch a flick."
Yeah, I bagged that ho well
Took her to the triple M, movies, meal, and motel
And when it comes to this I'm a professor
I didn't molest her I caressed her, undressed her then sexed her
But I must be getting bolder
Cause I didn't put a helmet on my mother f*cking soldier
I started stickin up quick
And the next time I took a leak
A motherf*ckin flame shot out my di*k
Chorus (Repeat 4x)
Ayyo L these b*tches be burnin’ the dog sh*t outta n*ggas, know what I’m sayin’?
Who you tellin’ man? These b*tches nowadays’d have a n*gga di*k drippin’ lava
You know what I’m sayin’? Ayyo, these b*tches’ll have a n*gga, give a n*gga’s balls a heat rash or somethin’ man
Man f*ckin’ with these hoes without a rubber nowadays is like bungee jumpin’ with a rope around your neck. That’s like playin’, [laughter], that’s like playin’ Russian roulette with a shotgun. Ayyo word, ayyo, ayyo man, f*ck a rubber man, I’m a start puttin’ balloons on my di*k, dog, ayyo I’m a start puttin’ suntan lotion on my di*k or somethin’. Ayyo these b*tches is triflin’ dog. Ay I’m gettin’ the f*ck up out of here man
Aight, let’s bounce