There was a moment in time once where I would welcome any opportunity to speak my piece, my heart, if only to rip it from my breast and toss it to your table bloodied and torn, declaring wildly 'look, how gloriously it beats to it's own drum! Even I can't control it's passions and delusions and murmurs'…but these days words iz cheap, and any 'ol chump can throw 'em round like darts…(a blab has become a blob has become a blog)…and just like the sci-fi movie from the 50's "The Blob", no one can figure out how to kill it or simply outrun it…we all just stand here transfixed, gaping at the lack of consciousness of something so unwilling to negotiate, it's only obvious intention seems to be a desire to absorb all in it's path…so with that, with what's left in my mind, I sacrifice these words to the gaping maw of The Void…
I love my country…I love it so much, I'll say it twice…I LOVE this country!!...today i am in Columbus, Ohio, and everything about Columbus has everything to do with what I love about America: the collisions of architectures idealistic and functionally gaudy…the lone characters who climb out of treetops and caves and still retain their sense of home…everywhere that I look here I am reminded of other battles and beliefs that now seem forgotten, yet their symbols still blow their horns in silent reverie because that's all they know how to do…like children waiting for a dad to come home who won't ever come home because he has run off to Trinidad with his secretary…(Uncle Sam has moved down to his timeshare!) But I want him to know I still love him so, and his once glorious charge…that commission is what my uncles died for, and what haunted my grandfather so that he drank himself to death, that feeling of hope and coldness that is America…Walt Disney knew enough to dress it up fancy in sentimentalism to try to keep it warm, but even he tried to outrun it and tackle the coming urban blight with what his EPCOT Center was supposed to be…high technology as a new kind of centering religion…Disney devotee's are still comfortable with his pirate ships, but many forget he also realized that we also need a safe harbor to enjoy our cozy memories from…and unfortunately he too died before he could complete that vision of a 'City of Tomorrow'...so no safe harbors here…
So from this snow globe that I shake up for you I'll try to beam out what goes on back in here…having started this particular journey of The Good Ship Pumpkin way back in November of 2005, I've now had maybe 2 months off total since then…I am not complaining because I love the work, but I am pretty exhausted day after day…however it is the Spirit of the good fans who travel so far to give us that love really lifts me back up…with much help from God…so my Spirit is strong, and I am happy to report that the band is playing beautifully presently, and as a unit is fully committed to not wasting your time with vague intentions…I am also happy to report that we have been able to, over the course of the last 5-6 months, address all the eras of the group quite faithfully, so that there now feels like there is a harmonious balance between Zeitgeist and the previous musical periods…nothing feels like it is being sacrificed against a new whole…of course, some songs don't apply to this, but this has more to do with their inconsistency against the energies of the times we are in than in the foundational energies of Zeitgeist…it makes me very happy we have been able to accomplish this in so short of a time…
Sometimes after shows I like to stop and talk to fans, to hear what they are feeling and what they want, and maybe even see what they need…in Detroit a few nights ago, a fan kept yelling at me 'Billy, more Siamese Dream, more Siamese Dream!'…of course I asked him my favourite question, 'why' and he said, 'because it's the best!'…what I think he really meant is 'it's my favourite album and I came here hoping to hear you play more of those songs'…to his credit, he was young and probably didn't get the chance to see 'ol SP on that tour back in 93-94…so I respect that…(in fact, I respect all fans opinions, even when I may disagree strongly with them, which I often do)…I respect that he may have come in the hope to hear us play his favourite songs, and triumphantly be the band he wants us to be…but as I said the other night to the same audience in Detroit that this young man was in, 'this is not a reunion tour'…
The question I ask is when does the past begin to dictate our future?…if one was to listen to Siamese Dream from a particular perspective, you might hear me at age 25 or so struggling with how to escape my past! How ironic that that same struggle should now become part of my current struggle for autonomy…the current SP is designed to live on happily, strongly, proudly, and boldly…there is no other way that I can see to water the flowers properly…we choose life, and the love of the moment for the song we choose to sing…
I believe God talks to me at each and every moment of my life, the only problem being that I don't listen…God does not want any of us to be unhappy, or to mourn for that which has no meaning…thanks to digital media, many of us can and will be remembered in perpetuity by an unseen future, but they probably won't bother to watch…my guess is our images and sounds will seem as archaic to them as images and sounds from the beginnings of the 20th century sound to us now…so fighting for the preservation of values that don't matter now and will matter even less down the road seems a sad waste of energy…I am happy to be a warrior of light and universal logic if I am fighting for the good in us…sentimentalism in and of itself is a form of death…sentimentalism in the context of preserving that which meant something to our ancestors and therefore is encoded secretly in our dna is something I am raptuous about…if God is love is truth, than you are that to me…SP stands at the center of my musical truth, and mirrors how god stands for me in the center of all truth…I would hope we can faithfully copy that paradigm, and always stay focused on what really matters…we may not always be what you want, but we do have what you need!
B C
