Paul Heaton
10 Lessons in Love
[Intro]

[Verse 1]
You keep 'em busy talking and they probably won't notice your weight (Is one)
No one counts the acres in the field when they're swinging on gate
Distracting their attention is achieved with a worrying ease
They can't taste the fruit if they're too busy swinging the trees

The scar you conceal, the stretch marks covered up at all times
Won't ever surface if you shag him and start talking star signs
There's a thousand sweeping statements you can use before he reaches the bra
And if he's close to unhooking the truth, whisper: "Time at the bar" (That's three)

[Pre-Chorus 1]
If you brush up on history and science, he'll be able to blag
The "She's too intelligent" or "She's just a friend we don't shag"

[Chorus 1]
Don't wave him goodbye, don't say you'll see him around
Knowing he'll say you were a pig when he thought you were sound
And if all 10 lessons in love weighed a stone a piece
You'd be bigger and more beautiful and hiding men in every crease

[Verse 3]
Hooking men is easy; losing them is tougher by far
'Cause if they're drunk enough to fuck you, then they can't be driving home in their car
So get him in a cab, make him pay, and drag him into your flat
Keep him topped up with whatever got you as far as that

[Pre-Chorus 2]
And in the morning, when he opens his eyes, let it all hang down
Then time how long it takes him to ask for a taxi to town

[Chorus 2]
Don't wave him goodbye, don't say you'll see him around (Five, six)
Knowing he'll say you were a pig when he thought you were sound
And if all 10 lessons in love weighed a stone a piece
You'd be bigger and more beautiful and hiding men in every crease

[Refrain 1]
(You're bigger, more beautiful) Hiding men in every crease
(Bigger, more beautiful) Hiding men in every crease

[Bridge 1]
One night stands shouldn't fill themselves with shame
Maybe just a promise next time to take a steadier aim
Why every guy denies receiving first prize
Like it's pumpkin or marrow at fayre, not a human with eyes

[Chorus 2]
Don't wave him goodbye, don't say you'll see him around (Five, six)
Knowing he'll say you were a pig when he thought you were sound
And if all 10 lessons in love weighed a stone a piece
You'd be bigger and more beautiful and hiding men in every crease

[Refrain 2]
(You'd be bigger, more beautiful) Hiding men in every crease
(Bigger, more beautiful) Hiding men in every crease

[Bridge 2]
Trapped by the mob, he'll confess that he stayed the whole night
But only agreed after putting up a hell of a fight
And if you leave him your e-mail address, it's a pretty safe bet
He'll be hiding his computer and denying ever using the net

[Outro]
(You're bigger, more beautiful) Ah, it's 10 lessons in love, 10 lessons in love
(Bigger, more beautiful) 10 lessons, it's 10 lessons, 10 lessons in love
10 lessons in love...