Dorothy Parker
Song Of Perfect Propriety
Oh, I should like to ride the seas
A roaring buccaneer
A cutlass banging at my knees
A dirk behind my ear
And when my captives' chains would clank
I'd howl with glee and drink
And then fling out the quivering plank
And watch the beggars sink

I'd like to straddle gory decks
And dig in laden sands
And know the feel of throbbing necks
Between my knotted hands
Oh, I should like to strut and curse
Among my blackguard crew
But I am writing little verse
As little ladies do

Oh, I should like to dance and laugh
And pose and preen and sway
And rip the hearts of men in half
And toss the bits away
I'd like to view the reeling years
Through unastonished eyes
And dip my finger-tips in tears
And give my smiles for sighs

I'd stroll beyond the ancient bounds
And tap at fastened gates
And hear the prettiest of sound
The clink of shattered fates
My slaves I'd like to bind with thongs
That cut and burn and chill
But I am writing little songs
As little ladies will