[Intro: Natlalie Maines & Rosie O'Donnell]
Alright
Well, uh
Tonight, we have somethin' a little special
Seein' as how it's the Christmas season and all
Thought we'd get everybody in the holiday spirit, and, uh
We have a special guest that's gonna come out
We haven't really met her yet, but, um
Hello, everybody, how are ya?
Hello, Detroit, Motor City, hello
How you girls doin'?
Hi, good
Good to see ya, nice to know ya
Y'all know me? I'm Trixie Dixie
Trixie Dixie?
Yep
Nice to meet you
Thank you, um
There was a contest down at my local 7-Eleven
Down in there Arkansas where I live
Whoever could hold on to a Dixie Chicks poster
For the longest amount of time got to perform here in Detroit
Right
I held onto that sucker for fourteen days
Fourteen days
Fourteen days, I didn't eat, I didn't sleep
I wore Depends undergarments
Really?
So if I had to go to the bathroom
I just went right there, no one even knew it
Fourteen days (Fourteen days)
That's dedication
So now I'm here to do a little song with y'all (Okay)
Somethin' I wrote a few years back
Hope y'all enjoy it
[Verse 1: Natalie Maines & Rosie O'Donnell]
Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk
At our Christmas party
We were drinkin' champagne punch and
Homemade eggnog
Little sister brought her new boyfriend
He was a Mexican
We didn't know what to think of him
Until he sang "Feliz Navidad," "Feliz Navidad"
That means "Merry Christmas" in español
That's what it means, sure does

[Verse 2: Rosie O'Donnell & Natalie Maines]
Brother Ken brought his kids with him
The three from his first wife Lynn
And the two identical twins
From his second wife Mary Nell
He also brought his third wife, Kay (Uh-huh)
Who talks all about AA
Chain smokin' while the stereo plays
"Noel, Noel, the First Noel"
Here we go

[Chorus: The Chicks & Rosie O'Donnell]
Carve the turkey, turn the ballgame on
Mix margaritas when the eggnog's gone
Send somebody to the Quik-Pak store
We need some ice and an extension cord
A can of bean dip and some Diet Rite
A box of tampons and some Marlboro Lights
Hallelujah, everybody say "cheese"
Merry Christmas from the family
[Post-Chorus: Rosie O'Donnell]
Woo

[Verse 2: Natalie Maines & Rosie O'Donnell]
Fran and Rita drove from Harlogen
I can't remember how I'm kin to them
But when they tried to plug their motor home in
They blew our Christmas lights
Cousin David knew just what went wrong
So we waited out on our front lawn
He threw the breaker and the lights came on
And we sang "Silent night, oh, silent night"
"Oh, Holy night"

[Chorus: The Chicks & Rosie O'Donnell]
Carve the turkey, turn the ballgame on
Make Bloody Marys 'cause we all want one
Send somebody to the Stop-N-Go
We need a can of cheese and a can of fake snow
A bag of corn nuts and some Diet Sprite
A box of tampons and some Salem Lights
Hallelujah, everybody say "cheese"
Merry Christmas from the family

[Post-Chorus: The Chicks & Rosie O'Donnell, Rosie O'Donnell]
Big endin', girls
Feliz Navidad
[Outro: Natalie Maines & Rosie O'Donnell]
Merry Christmas, y'all
Merry Christmas, God bless you
God bless you, Dixie Chicks
God bless you, band
That was excellent
I'd love to stay, but I gotta go
You do
I got songs to write I love you (I love you)
I love you, I love all of you, I love you
I love Detroit, the Motor City
I love you people