Well
Why are video games so bloody violent?
Mindless?
Man, it's time to rewind
To a time where the action was colourful and innocent
Moms and Dads didn't have to be diligent
Didn't have to panic for the kids becoming militant
Mario's back and it's brilliant!
I'm a wholesome character that's suitable for children
A real role model when I'm leaping off a building
Come on kids, follow me, follow me!
One, two three! Jump off and weeee!
Dash through traffic shouting "Tally Ho!"
Can you run down the road as fast as Mario?
I'ma show you pipes, a variety of types
Hash pipes, crack pipes, pass me a light
I'm jacked up on mushrooms
Listening to rush tunes
Puff, puff, pass me the carrot
Motherfuck you!

Fuck, yeah
Oh no, Mario!
Fuck, yeah
Oh no, Mario!
Fucking listen

Roll up to the club and I jump on a table
Engage in R-Rated behaviour that's shameful
Fuck the haters straight up mate
You can jump on a turtle and make it painful
I'm only saving Princess Peach
To get a piece and pinch her peaches, preach!
I'm gonna break that bum when I get her home
But I've got the shakes, man, I'm coming off the methadone
So I scoff another plate full of goombas
Make her suck me off on a rug like a roomba
Oorah!
Rebel rabble rouser
That'll yank down Bowsers trousers
And I sell drugs, plumbing is a front
I'm addressing every woman as a cunt
Roughing up a punk
When I'm puffing on a blunt
Duppy motherfuckers then I stuff them in the trunk

Fuck finishers in Mortal Kombat
Oh no, Mario!
Mario's already been there, done that
Oh no, Mario!
Fuck Carmageddon and fuck Manhunt
Oh no, Mario!
Mario's worse, he's a goddamn cunt
Oh no, Mario!

Spin my hat front to back then back to front
I bet you can't do that, you cunt
I'm a little fucking fat fucking plumber
Fucking taking on fucking any fucking comer
I'm a
Loose cannon on the loose
With an appetite for animal abuse
Don't like Jews
I don't like you
Don't like anybody, hang them from a noose
Enacting atrocities
Cruelty of all kinds
Bloodbaths, massacres, slaughter and war crimes
Napalming your jungle leaves
While I'm shaking the junk in my dungarees
But you won't get a crumb from me
Because I'm from the streets of New Donk City
Out the barrio
And I'm heading for Hell
It's a me, Mario
Beheading infidels

Fuck Saints Row, fuck Grand Theft Auto
Oh no, Mario!
Mario's gonna come and cut your throat
Oh no, Mario!
Fuck Doom, fuck Hatred
Oh no, Mario!
Mario's raping all that is sacred
Oh no, Mario!

"Nintendo, fun for all the family"